Scars
by X. The Marauders .X
Summary: rated m for suicidal themes... poor jasper... plz read. "If he had been quite the suicidal teenager, I had to make sure he wasn’t also quite the suicidal adult" R&R pplz
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: nope, not . she owns Twilight and i dont...**

**plz see authors not at the end... plz?**

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APOV

I heaved the huge esky out of the apartment I shared with Jasper, my best friend. He turned at the sound of my struggle and walked towards me.

"Alice, if you can't carry it, don't try, I can get it for you." He said with a smile. I watched as he lifted it effortlessly with one hand and placed it in the boot of my yellow Porsche. My brothers and I had been told to come home for the weekend for a barbeque by my parents. Emmett, my oldest brother, was bringing his fiancée, Rosalie, Edward, the next oldest was dragging Bella along. Bella was my best girl friend, and I think Edward has a major crush on her. So when I found out my brothers were bringing someone along, I have Jasper my best 'no-nonsense' face, and told him he was coming too, end of story.

Jasper's cell phone started ringing as I was getting into my beloved car.

"Hey Eric" I heard him say. I poked my head out the window and gave him a death glare. Eric worked with Jasper and never did his share of the work. After saying yes, no and goodbye, Jasper came over to me.

"Sorry Alice, but I have to go into work for a few hours, so I won't be able to make it to your big family reunion after all." Carlisle and Esme had adopted Emmett then Edward then me all a few years apart, and the three of us loved them like they were our real parents, which they were, in a way. Jasper had been adopted too, but he hadn't been as lucky as me. He hadn't particularly liked his foster parents, or adoptive siblings.

"Now you listen to me Jasper Whitlock," I said "I have been planning this for ages and I will not let a little thing like work stop you from enjoying your only weekend off in nearly six months. Now here is what you are going to do: you are going to ride your motorbike into work, you are going to show your face and tell Eric he can do whatever needs to be doing, and then you are going to get back on your motorbike and drive to my parents house and have a dam good time, understand?"

Jasper rolled his eyes, so I pouted.

"Fine."

"Good I'll see you in less than ninety minutes at my parents place or there'll be hell to pay." I watched him speed off on his motorbike and then pulled my own car out and headed in the other direction. During the drive to my parent's house I hummed along with various songs on the radio and sang to the ones I knew the words to.

I turned into the long winding driveway. There was greenery along either side of the road. It was typical of Forks. I arrived at the end of the 'driveway' into a clearing, a nice, sunny clearing, and in the middle stood my parent's big white Victorian style house. Emmett and Rosalie had also just gotten there. They were getting out of Rosalie's red convertible. I pulled a beach bag out of the back and hailed Emmett to get my esky. My adoptive father, Carlisle, pushed open the door to greet the three of us. We walked through the house to the backyard – and the pool of course – to, in Emmett's words, get the party started.

It was one of those rare very sunny days in Forks, when it was actually _hot_, so when Bella and Edward turned up the five of us took the chance to jump in the pool, while Esme lounged around on a deck chair, and Carlisle started cooking lunch. About forty-five minutes after getting to my parents house, the doorbell rang.

"It'll just be Jasper." I told my parents. Esme looked happy that he had arrived.

"Did you know that I haven't seen your friend Jasper in years?" She said. I laughed as I toweled off so I could get the door.

"Oh, good, you made it!" I grabbed his wrist and pulled him through the house to the pool. We exited the back door and I let go of Jaspers wrist so he could go say hello to Esme and cannon-balled into the pool.

I hit the water with a splash and kicked my way to the surface. I looked around to see that Jasper wasn't in the pool yet.

"Jasper! Come on!" I called out.

"No thanks Alice. I didn't bring my swimmers." So?

"Geez Jasper, what are you? A chick? Just pull your shirt off and jump in already, we want a game of water polo and we can't play two on three!" Leave it to Emmett to be subtle.

"No thanks Emmett." Jasper called.

"Then you leave us no choice. Let's get him guys!" Emmett, Rosalie and I pulled ourselves out of the pool and began to chase Jasper. Edward and Bella watched us with amusement written all over their faces.

Jasper looked at us, wide eyed; he came to his senses and ran around to the opposite side of the pool where Emmett caught up to him. Everyone was laughing at Jaspers pitiful attempts to break Emmett's grip.

Emmett yanked the shirt over Jasper's head and tried to throw him in the pool. But Jasper was too quick for him and rolled to the side and got up, keeping his face to us. He backed up, and I found myself watching the way his muscles rippled as he moved, he had a small tattoo of a dragon on his collarbone. Hmm… Jasper the rebel… I always though he was unnaturally skinny and freakishly tall. But, whoa, had I been wrong, he was freakishly tall, but by what I could see he had a lean, muscular torso… No! Bad Alice! Stop ogling your best mate!

Emmett had gotten close enough to Jasper that could easily grab his arm and swing him into the pool, and he did just that. Jasper almost flew into the pool and Emmett, Rosalie and I jumped in after him, laughing. I surfaced and looked around, now that Jasper was in the pool, Emmett had started picking on Edward. I think Emmett was trying to drown him. Rose had pulled herself out of the pool and was dangling her feet in the water, looking on in amusement. I turned around, Jasper was walking backwards out of the pool, and Bella was… looking at him in horror?

I started to ask her what was wrong, but was interrupted by her,

"Jasper, what happened to you?"

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**so what do you think? is this story worth continuing? i hav some angesty jasper lined up? what are ur thought? plz drop me reveiw and let me no whether i should keep writting it??**

**Moony out.**


	2. Chapter 2

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**Disclaimer: as you should know by now i am not the wonderful, talented Mrs S. Meyer**

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**APOV  
****Chapter 2**

Jasper whipped around at the sound of her voice and I saw what she had meant.

Crisscrossed across the back of Jasper's arms and his back were scars, all of different sizes. The biggest one went from the top of his shoulder blade diagonally down and ended about the middle of his back. All of the scars were fairly old looking, but I could see why he might be a little self-conscious about it.

"Jasper, what happened to you?" I re-asked Bella's earlier question.

"Nothing, I don't talk about it." His jaw was set. He climbed out of the pool and took the towel Esme offered him with a nod of his head. He quickly dried himself off and grabbed his shirt from where it lay at his feet. He hung the towel over the pool fence and walked around the side of the house to the front. Moments later we heard his Ducati speed off down the street.

I looked around at everyone else, Emmett was looking ashamed of himself, Rosalie and Bella were looking horrified, Edward looked stunned and Carlisle and Esme looked shocked.

"I should go." I said, getting out of the pool.

"Please, sweetheart," said Esme "take some food for the both of you?"

I couldn't deny my wonderful, caring, adoptive mother anything. "Sure mum."

She quickly wrapped some food up while I slipped my dress over my head. Esme passed the food to me and I gave her a quick hug, "Bye Mum." I whispered to her, "Bye everyone." I said to everyone else. There was murmured good byes all round. I started around the side to the front when I heard Emmett call out to me. I stopped so he could talk.

"Ali, tell Jasper I'm sorry, would you? He obviously wouldn't be too happy with me, and I guess it is my fault." I'd never seen Emmett look this down. He looked like he had just committed a federal offense or something. Actually, worse, Emmett probably wouldn't care about breaking some silly law. But he still looked very ashamed of himself, and I didn't like seeing my big brother this way.

"Sure Em." I have him a hug and then hurried to my Porsche. I hoped Jasper had gone home; otherwise I have no idea where to look for him. I drove as fast as I could and made it home in record time. When I saw that Jasper's Ducati was in our shared garage, I breathed a sigh of relief.

I unlocked the door to our apartment and walked inside, dropping my house and car keys into a little bowl on a table beside the door. As I had expected there was loud music coming from Jaspers room. So I went up and banged on the locked door.

"Jasper? Can I come in?" I tried the door handle softly, it was locked.

"I'd rather you didn't." he said. I pulled out one of the many bobby pins holding my hair up, and began to jimmy the lock. Finally, I heard it click and I opened the door. Jasper was lying on his back on the bed staring blankly at the ceiling.

I moved slowly to the bed in the middle of the room, and eased myself onto it. I sat cross-legged on the side and looked at Jasper.

"Jasper, what happened?" I asked. He sat up, I thought he was going to tell me to get out and mind my own business, but instead he looked at me.

"I'm afraid you'll think I'm stupid for being embarrassed by it." He said at last.

I held my right hand up, "I promise not to think anything until you tell me to." I promised. I could see the debate going on in his head. Finally, he realized that he'd have to tell me sooner or later, and that it might as well be sooner.

He sighed. "Well, you know how I was adopted right?"

"Yeah, like me."

"Yeah, but unlike you, I didn't like my foster family at all. Or my 'siblings'. Anyway, I was sixteen and my brothers and sisters hated me, and I them. They always treated me like I was a waste of space and used to tell me I should jump off a cliff and all that. Mike told me one weekend that I should just go die, because then everyone would be much happier."

I shuddered, Mike was a year older than Jasper, and I had dated him for a few months until I realized how arrogant and self-centered he was. Jasper went on,

"So I tried to kill myself… I jumped out a window and fell into a glass table on our patio."

I just sat there, that was so horrible!

"I just felt weak afterwards for trying to take the easy way out and for letting him get to me." He sighed "Feel free to think I'm stupid now." Jasper stated. He hung his head.

I moved closer to him, and lifted his head up, looking into his blue eyes. "I don't think, you're stupid." I said.

"Alice, would you mind just leaving me alone for a while please?" I nodded and gave him a quick hug before leaving his room and shutting the door quietly. I ambled slowly into my room and lay down on my bed. I though about what Jasper had said. I knew from experience that Mike wasn't a nice guy, but for him to tell someone to just go die, was harsh, even for him.

Jasper had said that this had happened when he was sixteen, I had met him when he was fifteen…I jerked into a sitting position. I began to connect the dots, the long absence from school, the strange behavior, ignoring everyone, and how his siblings suddenly began to avoid him… he had tried to kill himself and I hadn't even noticed! I catapulted myself off my bed and straight back into Jaspers room, not bothering to knock, I wanted answers.

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**hey, tis Moony again. im not real sure about this chapter, so plz reveiw me guys! now, let me tell u all a little secret, this chaper was only posted today in honour of RubyDragonJewel who was the only person to reveiw my last chapter. i salute you. plz reveiw u guys! **

**Moony out.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: no, i am not the talented S. Meyer, and odds are that i never will be.**

**sorry that Jasper is so suicidal... but that is just what goes on in my mind... besides, emos are people too...**

**enjoy...**

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APOV  
**Chapter 3**

"That didn't take you as long as I though it would." He said as I burst into the room.

"You! You, tried to kill yourself, and you didn't even tell me what was going on! ME! I though we were best friends!? Why didn't you tell me? What if I could have helped you through it? ANSWER ME JASPER!"

Jasper looked deflated; I almost apologized for yelling at him. Almost.

"Like I said before, I felt weak and ashamed for letting Mike get to me. I didn't want to tell anyone. Please don't be angry Alice?" I rolled my eyes at him, took my hands off my hips and sat down on the bed. Jasper was sitting up now, his eyes pleading.

"Of course I'm not angry; I'm just upset that you didn't trust me enough to tell me." I couldn't refuse those puppy dog eyes anything.

"I'm sorry Alice…" I crawled over to him, and sat beside him, looking up into his big brown eyes.

"Anything else I should know?" He shook his head, but didn't meet my eyes. "Jasper? Any more bouts of suicidal-ness you should tell me?"

"No, Alice." He was sounding irritated, he wasn't meeting my eyes, and he was lying. I couldn't believe it.

"Tell Me Jasper!" I demanded. If he had been quite the suicidal teenager, I had to make sure he wasn't also quite the suicidal adult. I got up off the bed and made for the door.

"Maybe I'll just tell Esme. She would get the truth out of you. She used to be a physiatrist you know?" Jasper stood up also.

"You wouldn't. You can't."

"I will and I can. Are you going to tell me the truth or am I going to tell Esme about your problems?" Jasper didn't answer. I turned to walk out the door and suddenly it was pushed shut and I was slammed up against it, Jasper holding my wrists, hard, it hurt.

"Don't. You. Dare." He growled at me. But I wasn't paying attention. My wrists hurt.

"Jasper… please… let me go… you're hurting me…" I whimpered.

"You will not tell anybody anything about me. Understand?" he tightened his grip on my wrists. I tear welled up in my eye. I had never seen Jasper like this before. He was always so calm and collected, he hardly ever got angry. My wrists hurt.

"Jasper… it hurts… please let go…" I whimpered again. Shock registered in his eyes, and he let go of me, pulling away and standing across the room. I looked down at my wrists, small bruises were forming already. I glanced up at Jasper, he was leaning against the wall, and he had his head in his hands. Poor Jasper. I approached him cautiously. I was a little scared of him.

"Jasper?" I said in a small voice. He removed his hands from his face.

"I'm so very sorry Alice." He looked at me warily. "I really am so sorry; I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's ok." He reached out to me, I flinched. Call it a natural reaction. Jasper lowered his arms and tipped his head back.

"What have I done?" He breathed out.

"Jasper…" I said. I reached out and grabbed his arms. I wrapped them around my waist and stepped into his embrace. He looked down at me in surprise and held me closer to him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered again.

"It's ok, so do you have anything else you'd like to tell me?" His jaw clenched and I stepped away from him. He looked at me as if deciding whether to tell me. I sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to me. He sat down to my right and looked at me. He then extended his right arm and pulled up the leather cuff he always wore. I gasped.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Across his wrist were small lines of red. And they didn't look old. I shook my head. I didn't want to get angry at him, it wasn't his fault.

I pushed the cuff back down.

"Ok." I said. I was trying not to go into a full panic attack mode.

"Ok?" Jasper echoed. "Ok? Is that all you have to say? Honestly?"

"No, that is dam well not all I have to say but I'm not going to say anything else."

"Ok."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"I'm sorry Alice."

"I know Jasper, I know." He wrapped his arms around my waist again. I buried my head in his chest. For some strange reason, I felt safe.

I woke up the next morning, trying to remember what had gone on the previous day. Jasper. He still had his arms around my waist, he had stayed up late talking last night, about lesser things, like well, nothing important really, I could hardly remember. I fell asleep his arms.

I just lay there for a while thinking about Jasper. He'd had such a crap childhood. That wasn't very fair. It could have easily been me that Mike's parents had adopted me, and him that Carlisle and Esme had gotten.

Jasper yawned. His eyelids slid open to revel his blue eyes.

"Mornin'" he clasped his arms tighter around my waist. I struggled a bit, and finally succeeded in turning around in his arms.

"Good Morning." I whispered.

"If you see it that way then good for you." I rolled my eyes. "You do realize that you are lying in bed with a man who has just confessed to being suicidal since he was a teenager don't you?" I shrugged. "That would… bother… most chicks."

"My, my, my, aren't we in a good mood this morning, compared to last night anyway."

"Only for you, darlin'" he drawled. I loved it when he let his southern accent seep into his voice! I grinned.

"We should get up." I said, loosening his grip on me.

"Five more minutes." He said, closing his eyes again and tightening his arms around me again. He rested his chin on my shoulder. He sounded just like a little kid.

"Ok, ok." I smiled at him.

I yawned again, and settled down into his embrace. Thank God for Sundays.

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**pretty sure i have just combined wat was originally 3 chapter into one tho there is only lik 1000 words here... im begining to realise just how annoying my short chapters must have been, so sorry for that.**

**hope u liked, i promise that this story will end happily for Jasper... pretty much... well it will if i stick with my original plan of action. check out my other stories and reveiw me. its not that hard and it takes lik a minute of your precious time**

**Moony out.**


	4. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: im not the chick who writes this...**

**hope u like the update**

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I opened my heave eyes and turned to look at the clock. 12:07 it read. I smiled. Jasper was still asleep. Lazy boy.

I poked him in the shoulder.

"Time to wake up, sleepy…" I whispered to him.

"Mmm… I suppose your right." He mumbled sleepily

"Of course I am. Now up! We have already wasted half the day." I said. "What do you want for lunch?"

"Um…"

"I have leftovers from yesterday?"

"Ok."

"Good, then get up!"

Jasper unwrapped his arms from around my waist but kept a hold of my hand as we walked into the kitchen. He was being so adorable this morning. He had to let go of me, though, so I could serve cold chicken sandwiches and salad for lunch.

"Do you want to go out this afternoon, like, to the shops or something?" I sat on the kitchen bench as I ate.

"Alice, remember when you convinced me to move in with you? You promised that I would never be subjected to one of your shopping sprees."

"This isn't a shopping spree, its two friends going out to the shops to hang out."

"But one of the friends is you, therefore what you just said means us going to the shops and it turning into a full on shopping spree. Why don't we just hang around the house today?" he hoisted himself onto the bench next to me.

"Fine, but we will go shopping next weekend… please, please, please?" I gave him the puppy dog eyes, no guy could resist that.

"Ok Alice. Next weekend." I finished my lunch and went to look through our dvd's.

"What dvd do you wanna put on?" I called out to Jasper, who was washing the dishes, such a gentleman.

"Uh… I don't know?" and then I heard him mutter "I know I'm going to regret this but – You pick!" He called the last part out to me.

"You should have more faith in my dvd choosing skills!" I called out.

"Should I?" he asked, more to himself than me. I went into the kitchen and poked my tongue out at him before sitting down in front of the dvd cabinet again.

"Forget the dvd then, what do you wanna do?" I asked Jasper as he walked into our small lounge room and flopped down onto the couch. He shrugged, so I rolled my eyes at him. I got up and sat on the couch next to him.

"Does this mean we can go shopping now?"

"Um… how about we walk down to the dvd place?"

"Ok!" We quickly got changed out of yesterday's clothes and dried the dishes.

"Here's an idea," Jasper said as we were about to walk out the door, "why don't we go to the dvd place on the other side of town? It has way more to choose from."

"Sure, ok." I made to grab the keys to my beloved Porsche, but Jasper shook his head.

"Uh-uh. Today, we're taking my ride."

"What?" I squeaked. I was absolutely terrified of motorbikes. They always looked so unstable, and Jasper drove so fast! Well, ok, I drove just as fast, but in a car! A safe, stable car! He grabbed the keys to his Ducati and quickly shepherded me out of the house before I could complain.

We went into out garage and Jasper wheeled his bike out. He then went back in and bought out a huge leather jacket and a helmet – for me I hope. Luckily, he handed the jacket to me and I slipped it on over my white tank top, it was way too big. I just realized: thank god I had chosen to wear jeans.

"What about you?" I asked as he handed me the helmet.

"I'll be right." He replied. He got onto the bike and pulled me over to him. "Get on." He instructed. I shook my head.

"I hate motorbikes." I said.

"Oh come Alice, be daring." He smirked at me. "I'll come shopping with you without complain if you get on this bike?" I deliberated for a second before throwing my leg over the bike pulling myself onto it. I could just see Jasper smirking again.

"Wrap your arms around me and grip the bike with your knees." I did as instructed and buried my head against his back as he kicked the bike to life.

I heard Jasper laugh as we sped down out street.

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**and i do know that i updated this chapter twice... i noticed some mistakes... sorry to get ur little hopes up...**

**hmm... so what do you think? do u like cute Jasper? i rekon Alice is cool in this chapter. please tell me what you think??? i beg you! reveiw me!! plz?**

**Moony out.**


	5. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: im not the wonderful Mrs S. Meyer who writes this... sorry**

**this chapter was posted so quickly for Emmy 1512 who is an awesome reveiwer...**

**hope u like this chapter! (ps, if u look carefully, it features Jasper in a leather jacket... just for Emmy 1512!)**

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Jasper drove like a manic. And that was all I had to say on the topic. Every time we went around a corner I'd squeeze my eyes shut tighter and try not to imagine myself toppling off. Needless to say we made it to the dvd place in record time. Jasper got off and had to help me down.

"Never again." I said.

"Just think, we still have the whole ride back."

"Uh-oh, no thanks, I'll call a cab." I was not getting back on that bike. Jasper took off my helmet and hung it on the handle bar; he then took off the jacket and slipped it on himself. He turned and walked into the shop and I trailed behind him. Jasper looked… hot… in that leather jacket. I'd have to be careful not to let him see me drooling.

After arguing for half an hour, we finally decided that a dvd just wasn't the way to go.

"So now what?" I asked him as we stood outside the shop.

"Why don't we go down the park? There's a take-away place across the street, we can ride around for a while, spend the arvie at the park, then get dinner on the way home."

He gave me back the jacket, and I slipped the helmet back on. I got on behind Jasper again with a sense of dread.

"This time, try keeping your eyes open, its way more fun!" Fun? Fun? Jasper had a warped sense of what was fun! Jasper kicked the bike into life and I decided to try to keep my eyes open, at least for a bit.

Jasper sped down the street and I managed to keep my eyes open, he was right, it wasn't as terrifying, but it was dam near! I held tighter to Jasper every time we went around a corner and I could feel him laughing.

As we sped across town he would point out various places of interest that I had never noticed before. Once he raised his hand to point at some statue of a man on a horse and I screeched. That seemed to amuse him quite a bit, but he pulled his hand back onto the handle bar and did do it again, although he kept chuckling as me.

We got to the park and Jasper pulled the bike to the curb. Jasper had to detach my arms from around him to get off, and then he helped me off. Once more he slipped on the jacket, and left the helmet on the bike. We walked half way down a small hill and sat at one of the many benches dotted around the park. It was nice and peaceful and quiet.

"Hey Gorgeous!" A familiar voice called out. I felt Jasper tense beside me. I turned around to look for the owner of the voice. It was Mike, no wonder Jasper wasn't happy.

"Alice! Hey, I haven't seen you around for ages, not since - " but I cut him off.

"Not since I told you I never wanted to see you again." The quicker I got rid of Mike, the happier Jasper would be.

"Well… yeah." He didn't even sound uncomfortable with acknowledging the fact. Then he noticed Jasper.

"Jasper! Hey! Little bro!"

"Hello Mike."

"So, Ali, gorgeous, I'm thinking, you, me and dinner next Saturday night?"

"Mike, remember how I told you I never wanted to see you again? I think I may have bought it up just before? Well I still mean it."

"Oh, Ali, come on, baby. You know you don't mean that."

"Mike, just leave us alone, please."

"Ali, come on…" Mike protested, stepping forward, but suddenly, Jasper was in front of me.

"She said, bugger off. Now Mike."

"Who are you to – oh, I see. You so want her. Well let me tell you, little bro, no woman would ever a man as weak as you. He tried to off himself, you know Alice? Cuz' he's weak. You really don't want a guy like that, do you."

Jasper looked torn between running off elsewhere, being ashamed of himself, or punching Mike into the next country. I hoped for the third outcome. But before Jasper could make a move, I heard a voice boom out:

"Didn't we have a talk about this last time Mike?" Emmet walked across the green to us, his arm around Rose's shoulders, her hand in his back pocket.

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**Emmett to the rescue! ok, so i realli hope u guys like this chapter, a little birdie told me that Jasper in a leather jacket astride a motorbike is hot... so i wrote him in... enjoy and reveiw me if you like it!!**

**Moony out.**


	6. Chapter 7

**Discliamer: im not Mrs S. Meyer.. sorry about that.**

**in the comming chapter ill try to feature Jasper punching Mike into the next country (NOT NZ!!) ... im thinking the soutth pole...**

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"Cullen…" Mike looked positively terrified to see Emmett. He shot one last look at me and muttered a goodbye before heading over to his beat up old truck and rumbling down the road. Emmett turned to us, a look of pure satisfaction on his face. Jasper was still standing in front of me. He stepped back, and allowed both Emmett and Rosalie to hug me. I turned back to Jasper. He looked the angriest I'd ever seen him.

His fists were clenched, his jaw was hardened and his eyes were steeled.

"If you can get a ride home with Emmett then you won't have to take the bike back to the house." Jasper said. He turned and walked back up the hill the where his bike was.

Rosalie whispered to me, "What are you? Stupid? Go after him! And call us later!" I nodded and ran back up the hill to Jasper.

"Wait up!" I called out. He looked like he was deciding whether to acknowledge that he heard me, thankfully, he held the bike still. When I reached him he slipped off the jacket and helmet wordlessly and gave them to me.

I hurriedly put them on and threw myself onto the bike behind Jasper, waving thankfully to Emmett and Rosalie as we roared down the road.

Jasper went manically fast. He was going to kill us. I was scared going around the slightest of bends, sharp corners were like a nightmare to me. Like before, I held on so tight I thought he might not be able to breathe as we went around corners, but he didn't laugh tame, he didn't even crack a smile.

I suddenly realized that we were going the wrong way. The apartment blocks were turning into houses, and then the houses all had gardens, and then they started getting further apart. Soon, we were driving up a mountain. He kept going for hours. Eventually, Jasper's driving didn't seem so high-speed, he began do drive slower, and relax more. With less cars on the road, driving this fast didn't bother me much.

After a while the houses started getting closer together again, and more cars appeared on the road. Apartment blocks started popping up and the traffic got worse. Jasper was still driving like a manic though.

By the time we arrived home it nearly dark. I was stiff and sore. Jasper swung of the bike and removed the helmet from me. I tried to get off the bike, but my legs weren't working properly. Jasper noticed me and hoisted me up into his arms and carried me into the house. He lay me down on the couch and went back outside to put his bike away.

I came back inside and locked the door.

"You ok?" he asked me.

"Yeah, you?" Ok, so I told an itty bitty lie. My legs felt like jelly and I was scared shitless of him before. And now I was worried out of my mind about him.

"I'm fine."

"You weren't fine before." I pressed him.

"Don't worry. Want a drink?" He walked into the kitchen and bought out two glasses of cold water. I realized that I was very thirsty. I drank the glass into one gulp and put the glass down on the coffee table at the end of the lounge.

"I'm sorry Alice, that guy just really ticks me off. Especially when he's right." Huh? Mike had said something right? That's news to me.

"What?"

"What he said before, about me being weak, it's true."

"Jasper… no… Don't listen to him; it's a load of crap." Poor Jasper, I hated seeing my best friend like this.

"Alice? Can I tell you a secret?"

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**ok, i had to add a cliffie... can anyone guess what may happen??? ok, so the only way you are ever going to find out what Jasper says is if you reveiw me!!!**

**i realli hope u guys liked this chapter... if you guys want to give me suggestions for this story it would be most welcome. i love hearing what you guys want to happen. i may not b able to inclue all your ideas, but if they work well (and if Jasper and Alice are ok with it) ill so add them in, pm or reveiw me!!**

**Moony out.**


	7. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: im not the talented Mrs S. Meyer... i just borrowed her characters for a bit...**

**hope u like:**

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"You can tell me anything Jasper."

He sat down on the couch beside me and looked into my eyes. I could see an internal debate going on in his mind. I moved so that I was kneeling on the couch next to him.

"I-I… um… I don't really know how…"

"Just spit it out Jasper."

"Alice, I think I love you…" My brain didn't even have time to register shock before I was internally screaming with joy. While my brain was going psycho, my face, apparently, was blank.

"Alice… umm… it would be really great if you could say something right about now?"

Then, without thinking, I lent forward and softly pressed my lips to his. I pulled away after a few seconds.

"So, still 'think' you love me?"

"Hmm… hang on…" Jasper put his hand behind my head and guided my lips back to his.

"Hmm… nope, I know I love you." Oh My God. He was perfect. Here he was, putting himself open to rejection from me and he didn't even seem too nervous.

I leaned in close to him. "I love you too Jasper." I whispered into his ear. I leaned back again and he had the goofiest grin on his face.

"Let's go out to dinner, like we said we would."

"What like our first date or something?"

Jasper laughed. "Well if you want to see it like that then you can."

"Ok then. Where?"

"Oh, I know just the place. And don't bother getting dressed up, because if your legs are up to it, we're taking my bike again." I rolled my eyes at him, but agreed nevertheless. Nothing could spoil my night, not even the thought of another terrifying ride on Jaspers motorbike.

We both needed to get changed, so I ran upstairs and looked through my extensive wardrobe. I felt like a teenager again. I immediately discarded all my dresses and skirts. I pulled out an old pair of three quarter blue jeans and a red tank top. This would work perfectly. I pulled my hair back and put on some light make-up. I tripped lightly down the stairs. Jasper was no where in sight.

"Jasper?" I called out.

"Outside Alice!" He answered.

"Hang on! Can you bring me the backpack sitting on the kitchen bench, don't open it! Just bring it out!?"

"Sure." I muttered to myself.

I grabbed Jasper's black backpack off the bench and headed outside to Jasper.

As I opened the front door, I gasped in absolute shock.

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**i hav decided that i like evil cliffies... and the only way for you to find out what will happen is to reveiw me!! this one may not be as obvious as the last one, but plz send me ur guesses as to wats going to happen!!**

**also, id realli like suggestions for the directions the story is going in. do u want more suicidal Jasper? a more cute Jasper? or a more hot and confident Jasper?? personally i hav a vote in for more a suicidal Jasper, so if you dnt lik that much, first of all why are you reading this story, and second, tell me wat kind of Jasper you want!!!ok...please tell me what you want!!! i love to hear wat a reader wants in my stories!!**

**review me people, please!**

**Moony out.**


	8. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: yeah yeah, im not the author of Twilight, Mrs S. Meyer is.. u guys know all this...**

**hope you like this chapter!!!**

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It was sunset, the colors spreading out over the horizon, reds, yellows and oranges. It was the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen. But the sunset itself wasn't what made it so wonderful.

Jasper stood in the middle of the driveway, giving his bike a quick clean with an old rag. He had a black t-shirt on, and an old pair of ripped black jeans. His black leather jacket was on his shoulders to protect him from the slightly chilly night air.

He heard me gasp and stood up, leaning against his bike. He looked me up and down, and held out his arms to me. I went into his embrace and he rested his chin on my head for a second.

"Put that on." He said nodding at the backpack. He got onto the bike, and I stood there admiring him for a second before getting on behind him. He kicked the bike to life for the third time that day and we took off down the street.

Ridding at dusk was ten times scarier than ridding during the day; Jasper must have owl's eyes, because I could barely see a thing.

Jasper drove me to another park. There was a small lake in the centre which reflected the fading sunset. He stopped the bike on the curb and helped me off it.

"Stay there." He said. Jasper went down to near the waters edge and lay out a blanket, after that I couldn't see what was happening. After about ten minutes, Jasper came up and got me. He put his hands over my eyes and walked me down the hill.

"Ok. Stop, now Ta-Da!" Jasper removed his hands from my eyes and I looked down. Jasper had set up a picnic dinner.

"Sit down, why don't you?" I sat down and he plunked down beside me.

"What do you think?" He asked me.

"You're perfect."

"I was referring to our 'date' but thank you. But, surely, these past two days have taught you that I am so far from perfect it really isn't funny?"

"Jasper…" He was simply amazing. Ok, so dinner was Indian take-away, but I could easily forget that. We ate dinner in silence. Afterwards, Jasper pulled two small pillows out of the backpack, how did he fit everything in there? He gave to me, and put the other under his own head as he lay down. I shivered. He sat up and took off his jacket, placing it around my shoulders, it was so corny it was cute. I put the pillow in the bag in lay down, resting my head over his heart.

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**ok! so what did you think? too much cuteness? well it continues into the next chapter fyi, so tough if you didnt lik the cute side of Jasper... dw, suicidal Jasper will be back, hopefully soon...**

**Reveiw me!!**

**Moony out.**

**P.S - judging from how immensley fucked up im feeling right now, you will be recvieving some very suicidal Jasper veeerrrry soon**


	9. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: nope, im not the talented Mrs S. Meyer... sorry**

**hope u guys like this chapter**

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I fell asleep on his chest. Later, he woke me up.

"Come on Ali, you need to be awake to ride a motorbike!" He whispered in my ear. He ran a finger down the side of my face and it tickled. I smiled.

"Look Ali! A Shooting Star!" I looked up immediately, sure enough, a bright light flashed across the sky.

"Make a wish." Jasper said. So I did.

"Come on, it's late and we both have work tomorrow." I got up and together we packed up the remains of our 'date'.

"Hold this." Jasper said, pushing the back pack into my hands. He knocked my feet from under me and carried me up the hill to his bike. He pulled me on behind him and pulled out onto the street. I watched the lights flash by as we drove, it was kinda pretty. We got home and Jasper carried me inside, he set me down at my bedroom door.

"Well, goodnight." He tilted my chin up and gave me a soft peck on the lips.

"Mmm…" I murmured against him. I slowly turned the handle on the bedroom door and walked inside, I threw on some old p.j's and climbed into bed, exhausted. But I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned for what felt like hours, and still couldn't sleep.

Silently, I tip-toed out of my room, and up the hall to Jasper's room, judging by the light that was coming from under Jasper's door, he couldn't sleep either. I knocked on the door.

"Come on in Alice."

I open the door, Jasper was lying on his bed his head dangling off the end. I quickly sucked in a shallow breath that threatened to escape as a sigh. He had removed his shirt for bed, and from this angle, I had a great view of his abs. I wanted to drool. But, keeping my composure, I just raised my eyebrows at him. He gave me an upside down shrug. I sat on the bed next to him. And he moved so that his head was on the mattress.

I spied his tattoo of the dragon again. I hesitantly raised my finger and traced its outline, Jasper shivered.

"When did you get this?"

"Seventeen." He said.

"Cool." The tattoo was about the size of my palm. I lay my hand flat over it to see. I looked at Jasper and he smiled at me. I removed my hand.

"Sit up?" I said. I wanted to look at his back again. He looked away from me, casting his eyes down and fiddling with the corner of the bedspread. Eventually, he sat up, I moved behind him and looked at the light scars running over his back from the glass. I raised my hand and began to trace the longest one down his back. He hissed and I stopped for a second, but he didn't say anything, so I kept going.

I traced one going from the back of his neck to his shoulder blade. He didn't complain. I traced another one going from his waist, which disappeared under the pajama pants he wore hung low on his hips. He didn't complain. I traced a series of smaller scars over his shoulders and back. When I had inspected all the damage he had done, I traced his spine down, and then he turned and gently took my hand.

"This doesn't bother you?" He asked.

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**not a very evil cliffie, but still, who is dying to see how Alice answers this??? ok, so in the near chapters i have some suicidal Jasper lined up for you. just cuz hes fun to write. if you love this story then reveiw it, and plz visit my profile to read my other stories!**

**reveiw me!**

**Moony out.**


	10. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: im not the talented Mrs S. Meyer**

**hope u like, sorry its short, see authors note at end - **

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"No, no, actually, I find it… striking… for some… twisted reason…" Jasper just looked at me in surprise.

"Come on," he said finally, "we really need to sleep."

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

He smiled. "Sure." He flicked off his bedside lamp, and pulled me close to him. I cuddled into his side and fell asleep.

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I woke up. Without bothering to open my eyes I felt around the bed for Jasper. He wasn't there. I opened my eyes. Against the clock there was a letter. I unfolded it;

_Alice, _(it read)

_Wake up sleepy head! I have headed into work already, and I hope that you get up on time. There are pancakes on the bench and coffee in the pot. _

_Enjoy!_

_Yours,_

_Jasper._

_XOXO_

I glanced at the clock, Jasper must have only just left. It was 8:02, and he usually left at about 7:45. I rolled out of bed and stretched. Suddenly, my brain clicked into gear, 8:02!! I had to start work at 9:00 sharp! I ran in a busy tornado around the house, throwing some of Jasper's pancakes into a bag for later. I put some coffee into my travel mug and was out the door in half an hour flat. A new record.

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I quickly closed up shop at 4:00 pm that afternoon and made my way out of the still busy shopping centre. Bella and I ran a small bookstore at the mall. After I had gotten in that morning she had immediately asked about Jasper, so I told her about our new 'relationship', I guess you should call it.

I told Bella to head off at 3:00 today, she wanted to get home. Note to self: ask her about her and Edward tomorrow.

I got into my car and pulled out of the parking lot and began the drive home. It felt strange to be in my Porsche again, after spending nearly all weekend on Jaspers motorbike.

The traffic was still pretty heavy as I drove home. I didn't walk in the door until almost half past four.

Hmm… Jasper wasn't home yet, that was strange. My phone rang and I dug through my purse to find it, I looked at the caller ID , it was Emmett.

"Heya Em!"

Emmett sounded worried, "Alice, you need to get down here now, I'm at the park, it's Jasper…"

I felt my jaw drop in horror

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**ok, so i no that i updated this twice, i just felt bad for leaving u guys with such a short chapter! as always, reveiw me, or pm me with ur ideas suggestions, opinions and feedback! also, check out my profile and other stories!**

**Moony out.**


	11. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: yeah, its Moony, not the awesome Mrs S. Meyer**

**enjoy...**

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"What do you mean?? Emmett!?"

"Just get down here Ali." He hung up on me. I was so worried. Had Jasper tried to kill himself? Had he been in an accident? Is he dead?

I flew out to my car and drove like a crazy person down the street. I turned onto the main road and sped down to the park. I parked my car on the side of the road and jumped out, betting tangled in the seatbelt as I did so. I yanked my arm out of the tangled mess and slammed the door, locking the car and I set off at a run to find Jasper.

As I neared the other side of the park I saw cop cars, and lots of them. There was also one or two ambulances. What had Jasper done?

"Alice!" I heard someone shout out; I wheeled around, trying to locate the sound of the voice.

"Emmett!" I ran over to him, he held his arms out to me and I rushed into them.

"It's ok, little sis." He said in a soothing voice.

"What happened, Em?" I had to know. "Why the cops, the ambulance? Is Jasper hurt! I need to know Emmett!"

"It's ok Ali, once the cops figured out who Jasper was, they immediately called Carlisle to come and figure this out." Once they figured out who he was! Once they figured out who Jasper was! Did that mean he was so badly hurt that he was almost unrecognizable? No!

"Where's Carlisle? Is he with Jasper? Where's Jasper? What happened Emmett?!"

"It's ok, Ali - "

"No! It's bloody well not ok Emmett! Tell me what happened or I'll find out some other way!"

"Ok, ok, sorry Ali. Well Jasper was just sitting around at the park, and me and Rosie spotted him, and I wanted to go over and apologize for Saturday, you know? So we're walking up and we see Mike… he snuck up behind Jasper, and he didn't seem to see me. So we stopped to see what happened. Mike got a few lucky punched to Jasper, before Jasper got into his game and full on smashed Mike in the nose! By this time, Rosie'd gotten out her phone and called the cops and the doc's, and I called dad."

"Ok, so he's still alive, where is he? Can I see him now?"

"Come on, I'll take you to him. Rosie's with him now." Emmett led me over to one of the ambulances that were on the hill. I saw Jasper sitting in the back of one; he had a swelled eye, and bruises all over his arms and chest. His shoulder was bleeding and so was his lip.

"Jasper!" I yelled. I ran up the hill to him, thankfully, no one was stupid enough to stop me, because then there would have been murder.

Jasper had looked up at the sound of my yell and had half smiled, half grimaced. I stopped myself just in time from running into him.

"Oh my god, are you alright?" Carlisle was standing beside him, rubbing cream onto the bruises on his arm, and rose was standing on the other side hold hands with Emmett.

"Don't worry Alice, he'll live."

"I'm fine Alice, chill, honestly, I've had worse." I thought of the scars on his back and silently agreed.

"Where's Mike?" I asked, that stupid little fucker was going to die.

"Over in the other ambulance," Rose said, "but don't you worry, Emmett and I will take care of him." She stood in front of me, blocking me vision of Mike, but I feinted left and quickly moved right to see him.

Mike was sitting in the back of the ambulance with barely a scratch on him, grinning broadly.

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**so what did u guys think? u like, u hate? tell me wat u think!!! i'll bet u all thought that Jasper had tried to kill himself... i fooled you all mwa ha ha ha ha!!! dont worry though, a suicidal Jasper will b comming upo soon. and dont forget to reveiw me or pm me as to ur ideas, suggestions comments and opinions!!**

**reveiw me!**

**Moony out.**

**ps - Emmy 1512, i can assure you that i am most certainly not a rabid Jasper fan girl, bribing me with with 'pretty please with a sexy Jasper on top' is most certainly not the best way to get me to update faster. trust me!**


	12. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: (why cant the readers just read the disclaimers in the other chapters?... Fine! ill put it up!... shut it!) ok, so im not Mrs S. Meyer, as im sure u should know by now.**

**ok, so read and tell me wat u think, i hope u like!**

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Rosalie was in front of me again, her hands on my shoulders.

"Don't you worry, Emmett and I will make sure he receives way worse injuries than Jasper." I knew better than to argue with that tone. It was Rose's special 'you-messed-with-me-and-now-you-are-going-to-die' tone. He would receive adequate punishment in her capable hands.

"Alice!" Carlisle called. I turned and made my way quickly back to Jasper and Carlisle. "Jasper is right to go home with you, but if his head or any of his injuries start to hurt, make him take painkillers. Don't let him sleep for at least five hours in case of a concussion, and he is to take the next week off work just in case. He is not to drive at all, least off all his bike. Oh, and you might need this," he tossed me the cream he had put on Jasper's bruises, "it's for the bruising. Got all that?"

"Yeah, no worries Carlisle."

"I have to go, I need to pretend I didn't see that look on Rose's face, and the identical one on Emmett's."

"Ok Carlisle, thanks for everything." Jasper nodded his thanks and shook Carlisle's hand.

"Take care Jasper, and listen to Alice. Bye Alice." I gave my adoptive father a quick hug and he tuned to leave.

"Emmett?" I asked. I looked around but I didn't se him. "Emmett!" I called a little louder.

"Yeah sis?" He appeared behind me.

"Can you help Jasper to my car with me? I don't think he can make it by himself. But Carlisle told me he can come home."

Jasper rolled his eyes at me. "How about asking me first?" he muttered, but didn't make any other protest and allowed himself to be hoisted up by Emmett. Emmett put Jaspers arm around his own neck and awkwardly helped Jasper limp to my car.

"Be back in a tick Rose!" He called. But Rose looked up and followed us anyway.

"Never mind baby, its time we left too anyway, the jeep is parked this way, yeah?"

"Yeah. And yeah, you're right, let's get outta here." The four of us slowly, and painfully on Jasper's part, made our way up to my car, and once I got Jasper settled in the front seat, I turned and hugged Rose and Emmett.

"You two are the best, thank you so much."

"No worries Ali. Anytime." Emmett told me.

"And don't worry about Mike," Rosalie added, "He'll be taken care of." I gave a little laugh and hopped in my side of the car. I waved out the window as we drove down the street.

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**rite, so what did you think? good? bad? reveiw me and u mite get another chapter! dont forget to reveiw or pm me with your suggestions, ideas, opions and feed back! the more ideas you give me, the more i write!**

**Moony**


	13. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: im not the wonderful, talented Mrs S. Meyer... sorry...**

**enjoy you guys!**

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Now it was Jasper's turn to cringe every time we went around a corner. I tried to go as slow as I could for him, without actually moving backwards. But, eventually, I got us home. I helped Jasper into the living room and he collapsed onto the couch. I sat on the coffee table opposite the lounge.

"Ok, what hurts?" I asked.

"Only my pride." He sighed.

"No, seriously, don't down play it, ok? You heard the doctor."

"Fine Alice! Everything hurts!" Poor Jasper.

"I'll get the painkillers." I went into the kitchen to get painkillers and a glass of water. I then went back into the lounge room. "Ok, take these." I ordered. He did as I asked with a grimace.

"Oops, I left the bruise cream in my bag in the car; I'll be right back, shirt off."

I walked out of the room without a backwards glance. It was going to be very hard not to drool. I quickly grabbed my bag and went back inside, Jasper was still sitting on the couch as I left him.

"Jasper… Carlisle told me to I needed to put this cream on the bruises to help them heal."

"Fine, but can we do it upstairs."

"What's the difference?"

"For crying out loud Alice, I'm just not comfortable here!"

"Oh, right. Sorry Jasper." Shirt off may have meant drool worthy abs for me, but it meant scars and uncomfortable-ness for Jasper.

"Come on, I'll help you upstairs." Getting up the stairs was slow progress due to Jasper, but he didn't complain once. He slowly made our way into his room, he pulled the shirt off and I helped him sit down on the bed. He shifted so that he could get comfortable, leaning his back against the metal of his headboard. He hissed as the cool metal came in contact with his warm skin.

I put a little of the cream onto my fingertips and started with the bruises low on his arms. I worked my way up both arms and then started at the ones on his chest. I applied the cream to the bruise on low on his chest, and then worked my way up, like I did with his arms. When I was done I put the cream aside and sat up on the headboard with him.

"All done." I said. "You want dinner? There's left over pancakes?"

Jasper smiled a bit. "Why not?"

"That's the attitude. I'll be back in a sec." I rushed downstairs and grabbed the pancakes that Jasper had so thoughtfully made for me that morning. I headed back upstairs, Jasper was still sitting on his bed… with no shirt. It was a struggle not to drool… again.

I took my previous spot up next to Jasper and handed him the plate, he took one. I did too… I suddenly realized I was hungery. I shoved it whole in my mouth.

Jasper burst out laughing, well; actually, it was more a mixture of wheezing, coughing and trying to laugh.

"What?" I asked, my mouth full.

"You – wheeze – just look – cough – so – cough – funny – wheeze – Alice!" I swallowed what was in my mouth in a hurry. I coughed.

"Thanks Jasper." He just laughed at me. I got up to leave the room, I was just going to shower and change… but he didn't have to know that.

"Aw, Alice, I'm sorry, come back… please?" He begged. I smiled at him.

"I'm just gonna shower and get changed. You should too."

I grabbed my pajamas and headed towards our bathroom. I adjusted the taps, striped off and jumped in. The hot water was soothing over my tired body, I loved the feeling of a hot shower. But all too soon it was time to get out.

I toweled myself off and got into and old pair of too big pajama pants and an old too small tank top. I loved my old p.j's. I walked back into Jasper's room; he was sprawled out on his bed, asleep. I checked my watch and it hadn't been the recommended five hours yet. It was only 7:00, on the dot, Carlisle had told me at 5:00, poor Jasper, he had to stay up for another three hours. I crawled over the bed and rocked back on my heels next to his head.

"Jasper, wake up Jasper." He didn't wake, I got worried. I stroked the hair out of his eyes. He looked so peaceful in sleep. I wish I didn't have to wake him up.

"Jasper!" I called, sharply. I tapped the side of his face for a second. No response. I grouped on Jaspers side table and found his phone, I called Carlisle's number.

"Hello, Carlisle speaking."

"Carlisle, its Alice, Jasper fell asleep before and I can't wake him up. What do I do?" I said in a paniced voice.

"Keep trying, ok Alice? I'm on my way." I hung up.

"Please Jasper, wake up…"

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**well guess wat! im going on holidays on Wednesday the 11th! so its gonna be all sun surf and sand for me! now, depending on how many reveiws i get, i might put one more chapter up before i go, comprende? goodly.**

**reveiw and dont forget to check out my profile!**

**Moony out.**


	14. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:ok, nope im not the awesome and all powerful Mrs S. Meyer... sorry**

**well, i have updated because i am going on a two month round europe trip visiting boring rellies and such... i guess u guys wont be getting many updates though, cuz i wont have access to a comp!! sorry guys! savor these chapters!!**

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"Jasper! Jasper! Come on Jasper, wake up!" Jasper's hand twitched. "Jasper! Wake up now!" Jasper groaned and his eyelids fluttered open.

"Huh?" He mumbled.

"Oh thank god!" Without thinking I pulled him up into a hug.

"Ah! Alice! That hurts!" He grunted.

"Oops, sorry."

"What the heck Ali?"

"I came back from the shower and you were asleep, Carlisle told me not to let you sleep till ten, I got worried so I, Carlisle!" I remembered that Carlisle was on his way over. "Hang on Jasper." I picked up his phone.

"Hey, that's my - " but I waved my hand dismissively at him. He shut up.

"Carlisle speaking."

"Carlisle, its Alice again, Jasper woke up, it's ok."

"Oh, Alice, hello. Well that's good, but I'm going to come over anyway just to do a quick check up, is that ok?"

"Yeah, no worries, thanks a million Carlisle."

"See you soon Alice." He said, and then hung up. I put the phone down and went back to Jasper.

"Carlisle is coming over to have another look at you, ok?"

"I don't need another examination, Alice. I'm fine, chill, will you?" He protested, but I was having none of that.

"Jasper…" I started.

"Fine." He interrupted. He tried to sit up, but I stopped him.

"Uh – uh. Stay lying down. Don't even try to get up, got it?" Jasper rolled his eyes at me, but complied.

I nodded approvingly, and the doorbell rang. "Stay right here." I said, sternly.

I flew downstairs to get the door, Carlisle was standing there.

"Come on in, he's upstairs still." Carlisle nodded and followed me up the stairs. We entered Jasper's room, and Jasper was still sprawled on the bad exactly as I had left him, well not exactly, he had sat up and thrown a shirt on… dam.

"Ok, so how are you feeling, Jasper?"

"Fine, Dr. Cullen."

"Now, now, don't bother with the formalities; I've known you for years, its Carlisle."

"I'm fine, Carlisle." Carlisle checked Jasper's eyes and such. I actually had no idea how waving a little white light in front of Jasper's face could determine anything, but apparently Carlisle did. When he was finished Carlisle said goodbye to Jasper and I walked him out.

"He's fine," said Carlisle, "But he still shouldn't sleep for another tow hour at the least, just in case."

"Yeah, don't worry Carlisle."

"Take care Alice." He said giving me a hug and walking out the door. I watched as him Mercedes drove out of sight, the locked up and headed back upstairs.

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**ok, so how many of you believed that bullcrap in the above AN, well i was kidding!!! LOL, i promise it was a joke, i am just going away on holidays for 9 days! but the no computers thing wasnt a joke, sorry about that.**

**but seriously how many of you guys did i get!? LOL aniways, i realli hope u guys like this chapter and plz dont be mad at me for kidding around with you's!! im in an uncharacteristicly good mood, LET ME HAV MY FUN!!!**

**umm... enough rambeling... reveiw me... OR ELSE!**

**Moony out.**


	15. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: ok, im still not Mrs S. Meyer... to my great dismay..**

**ok, so i felt bad for putting up such a short chapter, so heres another short one, and if you guys are luck, you will get another short one after this!**

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It was 10:30 and Jasper had finally been allowed to sleep. Needless top say, he was tired as all hell.

"I'm gonna kill Mike…" He had told me just before we fell asleep.

"Shhh…" I'd said. "Emmett and Rosalie will take care of him, don't you worry." And then he'd fallen asleep. I was lying beside him, stroking his hair out of his eyes when the phone rang. I grabbed it quickly in case it woke Jasper up; I went into my room and shut the door before pressing 'answer'.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"Alice, hi." It sounded like Rosalie.

"Rosalie?" I asked.

"Uh huh."

"Um, ok, what did you want?"

"I was just wondering… would Jasper mind having his name in the newspaper if it meant Mike going down?"

"Um, probably." What on earth was she talking about?

"Dam. Ok, Emmett and I will think of another way, bye!"

"Wait! Rose! What were you gonna do?" But Rosalie had already hung up. "Dam." I said to myself. I put the phone on my bedside table and went back into Jasper's room. I debated for a while whether to get in bed with Jasper again, or whether just to sleep in my own neglected bed for once. I stood in the doorway for a second before crossing the room, and snuggling up next to Jasper.

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**ok, what do u think?**

**reveiw me ect! and check out my profile!**

**Moony out.**


	16. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: in case u guys havent noticed, i am not the talented Mrs S. Meyer**

**yes, i do no i uplaoded this twice. get over it.**

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It had been four days since Jasper and Mike had fought. I had had no word from Emmett and Rosalie, so I assumed that they were still in the planning stage of their evil plan.

Jasper and I were sitting down to a breakfast of toast and coffee. Yum.

"So let me guess? Today we are going to sit around the house all morning and watch dvd's, then we are going to go for a walk, then to that little café for lunch. Then, in the afternoon, Edward or Bella, or Edward and Bella will come over to see me, the invalid. Would that be about right Alice?"

"Just like we have done for the past four days Jasper." Poor Jasper, he was going crazy, not being able to ride his bike, he loved his bike.

"Great."

Then the phone rang and I picked it up.

"Alice, you need to run the store today. My mum has come down for a surprise visit!" Bella squealed in my ear. Hang on? Bella squealing in my ear? How did that happen?

"Um, sure Bella. Just let me make sure Jasper will be ok on his own. Jasper!?"

"I'll be fine Alice, you worry way to much about me."

"Yeah, no worries Bella. Say hi to your mum for me, ok?"

"Will do, bye!"

"Bye." I hung up the phone. Right. I needed to get ready for work. I quickly changed and ran out the door, giving Jasper strict instructions to be good. He had better listen.

Driving to the store took ages in the early morning traffic, so I turned up the music and sang along.

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**short chapter. i no. but i have a huge surprise for all of you Jasper fans and if i get enough reveiws (that means more then 3 pplz! way more then three!) then i will post it before i go on my 9 day holiday on Wednesday! ok? ok.**

**Moony out.**


	17. surprise chapter!

**Disclaimer: nope, not Mrs S. Meyer... i wish...**

**ok! so i wasnt actually gonna put this up tonight, but Emmy 1512 reviewed me heaps, so i thout i should put this chapter up just for them!!**

**so heres ur BIG SURPRISE CHAPTER, its in Jasper's POV (first one for this story) and i think my wonderfully depressing nature really shines through in this chapter, what do you think?**

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JPOV

I had been biding my time for four days now. Mike was going to pay. As soon as Alice left the house.

"I'm going! Be good Jasper!" Alice called on her way out the door.

"Uh huh." I got up with the least amount of pain I'd had in the past four days and stood at the window, watching her drive off. Good. I loved Alice, but there is no way she'd condone what I was about to do.

I slowly walked up the stairs, not because I was in pain, I'd learnt to live with pain, but because I wanted to think. I trudged into my room to get dressed. I pulled on a pair of black jeans. I slipped my pajama shirt over my head, I looked at the bruises all over my torso. They were a lot better than yesterday, nearly gone, in fact. I turned around, and, as always, a wave of disgust washed over me.

The scars that criss-crossed my back were a mark of how weak I was. Same with that ones across my wrists. Every time I caught a glance of them I had to fight not to recoil in repulsion. It was horrible. I would see them in a mirror and think that I was stupid, worthless and weak, just like Mike said. And he is right. But Alice had forgiven me. But that doesn't mean that he will get away with beating me up like that. He will pay.

I threw on a black t and walked outside. Carlisle said I couldn't drive. I should listen, but I don't. I pull my bike out and swing my leg over it. It's good to be on my bike again. I kick it to life and roar down the street. I'd forgone the helmet, the wind in my hair feels great. My bike is my escape. Riding at a speed that not even the cops could catch me. I should know, I'd outrun them on my bike about half a dozen times. I leaned lower down; it would make me more aerodynamic and make the bike go faster, but only fractionally, but fractionally was enough. The bruises low on my stomach throbbed a bit, but I ignored it. If there was one thing I'd learnt, it was that pain is controllable.

I arrived at Mike's place faster then what I'd have liked to. My tires screeched to a halt, spraying gravel all over his lawn. Good. If he lived through what I had planned for him, he'd have a hell of a time next time he was physically able to mow the lawn.

I got off my bike and leaned casually against the side of the bike. The front door banged open, Mike had heard the skid and come out. Stupid for him. Fun for me.

"You!" He exclaimed. He aimed a punch at my head, but I moved out of the way and grabbed his wrist.

"Now, now, now, that's not nice." I said in a dark voice. I loved the power speaking in this voice gave me. It meant people would shut up and listen to me. And be afraid. I let his wrist go and he looked away from me for a second, rubbing his wrist with his other hand. I was painfully reminded of the time I had hurt Alice. I pushed that thought to the back of my mind, but with difficulty. I had Mike to concentrate on now.

"What do you want!" He demanded. The corner of my lip twitched up into a smirk.

"What do you think Mike?" I asked. "What's say we go inside and have a little chat eh?" I was taller than Mike now, so I grabbed him at the base of his neck and half dragged him inside his house. We walked up the porch steps and inside. I turned, and locked the door.

"What are you doing!" He demanded. I was getting tired of the demands. I whipped around and punched him lightly (for me) on the arm.

"Now, there's something that I wanted to discuss with you Mike." He nodded. "First of all, if you ever come near Alice again, if you ever talk to her with out her wanting to talk to you, if you ever touch her ever again, you will receive a way worse beating than this." I punched him in the gut, this time, hard.

"If you ever come near me again, if you ever attempt to hurt me again, if you ever so much as talk to me again I will make the rest of your, what will be short, life, painful." I punched him in the jaw, hard.

"If you ever, ever tell anybody about me, or my issues, I will also make you life painful." I punched him in the gut again. Suddenly, Mike's fist shot out and connected with the most painful of bruises, on my stomach, I doubled over in pain. I started drawing in air. Pain can be controlled. I told myself. I stood upright and hooked my leg around Mike's ankles and pulled, he fell backwards, and the sound of his head hitting the tiled floor was very satisfying. I crouched down next to his head, he was winching in pain.

"Hmm… your nose looks good. I mustn't have done a very through job." I pulled my fist back and then let it snap forward, re breaking his healing nose.

"Nice…" I said to myself. I let myself out and kicked my bike to life. The engine roared and I sped off down the street.

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**ok, so what did u think? personally, i really liked that chapter, faverite one in the story i'd say. but enough about my thoughts! what do u think? i cant write then next chapter untill u guys reveiw me or pm me tell me whether u want more Jasper's pov or if i should stick to Alice for now on. did u like?**

**reveiw me!**

**Moony out.**


	18. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: nope, im not Mrs S. Meyer... sorry... *tear***

**hope u geys like and dnt forget to reveiw**

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APOV

I walked in the door after work, singing under my breath. Jasper was no where in sight as I threw my keys into a bowl next to the door and bag on the bench. I flopped down on the couch and listened for him. I couldn't hear him anywhere. I got back up and walked outside to the garage. His bike was there, but I know that he would never take it out while he was like this.

"Hmm…" I wondered out loud. "Jasper?" I called, just in case. No answer. He's probably gone for a walk. I busied myself cleaning the house. In the excitement of the last week it hadn't been done at all.

I went through the house, my room was surprisingly tidy, well I had been sleeping in Jasper's room lately. Half an hour went by, an hour, but still no Jasper.

An hour and a half, two hours. It was five o'clock. But Jasper still wasn't home. I was sitting on the kitchen bench when suddenly I heard the front door bang open. I gave a little shriek and jumped.

"Alice?" Jasper's voice called out, "Chill, it's only me."

"Where the hell have you been??" I called. I was still trying to make sure my heart was still beating.

He followed the sound of my voice into the kitchen and walked up to me, placing his hands on my hips. "Sorry if I scared you, darling." Oh. My. God. That. Southern. Accent. Was he trying to kill me with a heart failure?

"Alice, you ok?" He said, hiding his accent again. I put my hand over my heart.

"Should be. In a sec." He covered my hand with his own.

"Ya'll be fine." I quickly sucked in a breath.

"Hmm… Interesting."

"Jasper…"

"Sorry." He said, letting me go. I reached for his arm.

"I didn't say let me go." He picked me up off the counter and took me into the living room, sitting down on the couch and cradling me on his lap. I snaked my arms up around his neck and pressed myself closer to him. He hissed in pain.

"Oops, sorry. Hang on, I thought your bruises had pretty much healed?" Jasper shook his head and dumped me off his lap onto the couch.

"You didn't." There was a knock on the door.

"Oh yes he did!" I heard Rose call from outside, I didn't realize I was talking that loud, "Let me in Alice!" I unlocked the door, fuming at Jasper. Rose burst through the door with Emmett following behind her. Jasper had gotten up and was now standing a little ways behind me.

"Emmett and I went over to Mike's place to execute a brilliantly thought-of scheme and what do we find? Mike sitting at his kitchen table with a re broken nose, a bruised and bloodied face and looking like he was trying to hold his stomach in!"

I tuned to see Jasper standing casually in the doorway. "Jasper?" I asked him.

"I did what I had to do Alice."

"Rosalie, I think you and Emmett should come back later, I need to talk with Jasper."

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**is going back to Alices pov ok? i mainly got pplz telling me to write most of the story in Alices pov with the occasional Jasper. is that right? reveiw me or pm me!**

**Moony out.**


	19. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: ok, so im not Mrs S. Meyer... i can only wish...**

**well, i hope u guys like this chapter, it is short, lik, very short, but i like it never the less. now, unless i get lik 10000 reveiws telling me to update one more time tonite, this will be the last time i will update untill i get back from holidays, so savor this chapter guys! plz reveiw and check out my profile!**

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Rose walked out the door, and Emmett closed it gently behind him. I rounded on Jasper as soon as I heard their car pull out.

"Why the hell did you go after Mike!!" I yelled at him. How dare he, what if Mike had gotten the better of him again, where would Jasper be then?

"Alice," he said in a soothing tone, "I didn't do it to hurt you; I did it because I had to."

"That's not a good enough answer Jasper!" I exploded.

"Well then what is?" His horrible temper broke through the carefully keep peaceful tone.

"The Truth!" I yelled at him.

"WELL YOU'RE GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED ALICE, BECAUSE THAT WAS THE FUCKING TRUTH!!" He yelled back. He started up the stairs, and pushed me, somewhat roughly, when I moved into his path.

I watched Jasper walk upstairs, and then went up after him, but into my room. I grabbed paper and pencil and went back downstairs. I started to write:

_Jasper - _

_I am going to leave for a few days. I need to get away for a bit. I am going to Edward's for a while, and I think it would be best if you didn't call me there. I need some time to myself. _

_Please feed my fish._

_- Alice _


	20. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Nope, i did not go on holidays and come back as the amazing Mrs S. Meyer... so that also means i still dont own her characters...**

**alrighty! i am back from holidays and ready to write again! i must say i was surprised and pleasently so at the lack of hate mail i recieved for leaving you with a cliffie! my reveiwers must love me!!! thx so much and enjoy the chapter!**

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A tear slipped out of the corner of my eye as I drove down the street. I couldn't stand leaving Jasper alone, knowing his past, but I truly thought that he would be good now. I had gotten a lot of truth out of Jasper about his past in the last week, and was just too much for me to handle.

I wasn't running away from my problems, I was just taking a vacation from them.

I drove to Edward's apartment and walked up to the third floor and knocked on his door. He opened it, and looked me up and down, a small smile sliding off his face.

"Alice?" He asked. I suddenly felt like I wanted to burst into tears. Everything that had happened in the last week just came crashing down in that one second. I took a step forward and Edward put his arms around me, as I started to bawl in his arms.

"Alice, sis, what happened?" I just shook my head.

"Ok, ok," he said, "come on in." I stumbled over the doorstep and into Edward's apartment. "Over here." He said, I looked around and he was sitting on his couch. I went over and sat next to him. "What happened?" he asked me.

"It's Jasper…" I croaked out.

"What happened, Alice?"

"Jasper… he went over to Mike's… he beat the crap out of him… "

"So, you're upset that Mike got what was coming to him?"

"No! I'm upset that Jasper didn't listen to Carlisle. He took his motorbike. If he had crashed… or if Mike had gotten the better of him again…I wish Jasper had just let Rose and Emmett take care of it."

"Do you want to stay with me for a few days Alice?"

"Yeah… I was kinda hoping you'd say that…"

Edward took me into his spare room and left me to my thoughts for a while. My phone rang and I flipped it open.

"Alice?"

"Jasper, I really don't want to talk to you right now."

"Alice, please I need to talk to you, I need to tell you how sorr - "

"NO! Just shut up Jasper! I need some time to myself ok?!" I hung up on him. I hated doing this to him, but I needed some time to think, and I really do think Jasper will be ok now that he has gotten his petty revenge on Mike.

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**yes, i do know that this chapter is a little on the short side, but i am currently workin on the next one whick should hopefully be a little longer... atm it looks lik the next chapter will be in Jasper's POV, so what do u think about that? good? bad? plz tell me your thoughts!**

**Moony out.**


	21. A Chapter in Jasper's POV

**Disclaimer: nope, not Mrs S. Meyer... sorry...**

**hope ya'll like!**

**IMPORTANT, READ THIS NOW: THIS CHAPTER MAY CONTAIN SOME SLIGHTLY SUICIDAL THEMES, YOU KNEW THAT THIS WAS COMMING SO IF YOU DONT LIKE IT GO READ ANOTHER STORY ABOUT FARIES AND PIXIES AND SHIT, SOME PEOPLE MAY FIND THIS A LITTLE BIT DISTURBING, BUT LET ME TELL YOU IT IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT IS COMMING.**

**im serious guys, this chapter be be a little (lik a small amount, but to some pplz...well... u know...) disturbing, but it is nothin compared to what is comming. now that you have read the warning, you may read the chapter.**

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JPOV

It had been eighty-five hours, forty-eight minutes and fifteen, sixteen, seventeen seconds since I had last talked to Alice.

It had been eighty-five hours, forty-eight minutes and thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, seconds of hell.

I sat in the middle of the lounge room, leaning against the coffee table. A bottle of something from our alcohol cabinet lay next to my right hand and my blade was in my left.

Eighty-five hours, forty-nine minutes and seven, eight, nine seconds.

Alice hated me: that was the only reason that I could think of that would make her leave me. I didn't know what to do. I looked from my blade to my wrist.

Eighty-five hours, forty-nine minutes and forty-four, forty-five, forty- six seconds. I missed Alice.

I looked back from my wrist to my blade. Alice didn't have to know. If she came back, I had my cuff I wore. I was good at pretending nothing was wrong. I had been fooling her from the time I was sixteen until just two-ish weeks ago. And if she didn't come back…

Eighty-five hours, fifty minutes and nineteen, twenty, twenty-one seconds.

I ran my thumb along the flat of my blade. My knife had been my friend. It gave me pain to distract me from all the shit in my life. I put the blade down on the coffee table, and pushed up the leather cuff.

Eighty-five hours, fifty minutes and forty-three, forty-four, forty-five seconds.

I traced the small dark marks across my wrist. As always, they made me feel weak, but when I was in this kind of mood, they looked comforting. I pressed down hard with my finger, and winced a bit. Around the cuts was, I could feel, internal bruising. It made every time I cut myself slightly more painful than the last.

Eighty-five hours, fifty-one minutes and thirteen, fourteen, fifteen seconds.

A car drove past, a small child yelled, a mower started. But I didn't pick up my blade. The look on Alice's face when she had seen the scars on my wrist had told me that she was horrified. I didn't want to be the cause of her nightmares. I didn't want to be the cause of her pain.

Eighty-five hours, fifty-one minutes and forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven seconds.

That sounded so corny, but it was true. I didn't want to hurt her. For the first time, I had something to care about. Back in high school, she had been my friend, but I had also stupidly thought of her as incapable of understanding me, and therefore just another person I had to play Happy Jasper for.

Eighty-five hours, fifty-two minutes and fifty-eight, fifty-nine: eighty-five hours, fifty-three minutes.

I remembered the time I had hurt Alice. She had threatened to tell her adoptive mother about me. To help, I guess. I got so mad. I remember shoving her against the wall, and having her wrists in a vice-like grip. She had pleaded with me to let her go, but I was beyond reasoning. She started to cry, but all I could think of was: make her comply. She started to beg me, and I had realized what I had done, I let her go. But I had bruised her. I felt so, no, I didn't even have a word for how I had felt.

Eighty-five hours, fifty-four minutes and five, six, seven seconds.

I had backed up against the opposite wall, and I had heard her come towards me slowly, and I had realized that she had been afraid of me. That's when I really had started feeling like a sick bastard. I knew that it wouldn't do any good, but I tried to apologize to her. She had said that she was ok, but I wasn't fooled.

Eighty-five hours, fifty-four minutes and fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-five seconds.

I had reached out to her, to hug her, to let her know that I was so sorry, sorrier than words could convey, but she had flinched away from me. If possible, I started feeling worse. I tipped my head back; I couldn't look at her, at what I had done.

Eighty-five hours, fifty-five minutes and ten, eleven, twelve seconds.

And then, I had felt small hands wrap around my wrists, and I looked down. Alice had grabbed my arms and wrapped them around her tiny waist and stepped into the embrace. She was amazing. I had stayed up that night, thinking about her. About how I had hurt her. I didn't deserve her. She was way too good for me. But I loved her, and for some crazy reason, she loved me. But that had changed. I still loved her, but she didn't love me anymore. And she was no longer mine.

Eighty-five hours, fifty-five minutes and fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three seconds.

I picked up my blade and held it to my wrist.

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**ok, if you skipped the warning above and read the chapter and didnt like it, dont even bother to reveiw me. i wont read them. now, personally, this is nothing, but there are some very sensitive pplz out there so i thought id put a warning in aniway. seriously, if you didnt like this chapter, go find another story, cuz its just gonna get worse for a while, ok? ok.**

**Well? what did u guys think? good? bad? should i be shot? i have decided that there will be either suicidalness in the next chapter or the one after that. ok? ok. REVEIW ME!!!**

**Moony out.**


	22. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: ok, not Mrs S. Meyer.. sorry about that**

**ok, so im going through my chapters putting the long ones togather so that there are less short and annoying chapters in the story, sorry for any incovenience!!!**

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APOV

It had been nearly three whole days since I had last talked to Jasper, I missed him. He had been stupid and reckless in going after Mike, but I still loved him. I had told him not to call me because I needed some time just to take a break and recuperate.

Edward knocked on my door, breaking through my reverie.

"Alice?" He called.

"Yeah, I'm awake." I was lying in my bed in my pajamas. Edward came in and sat on the edge.

"Bella called, she wants to know if you're coming into work today?" I hadn't been to work in nearly four days. I just couldn't bring myself to put on a brave face for longer than necessary.

"No, no I don't think so." I said.

"Alice, you should go into work, it will distract you from missing Jasper."

"No." I replied, stubbornly.

"Ok, I'll tell Bella she's on her own again today. I'm going into work, see you tonight." Edward gave me a kiss on the top of my head and walked out.

"Thanks." I called after him. I went to the window and, after a minute, saw his precious Volvo drive down the street. I flopped back down onto the bed. I missed Jasper so much. But he had been so stupid in trying to get back at Mike. I didn't know what to do. I wanted so much just to go back to Jasper and say sorry for leaving him, but after how horrible I was, he probable wouldn't forgive me. I wish I hadn't gotten so mad about him getting his revenge.

I rolled over onto my stomach. It had been ages since I last saw Jasper. I wonder what he's doing right now? I hope he's not doing anything stupid. Even though I wholeheartedly believe that what he did was wrong, I also believe that beating up Mike has cured his suicidal tendencies. Maybe he just needed to feel like Mike was wrong. Like he could do things.

"No." I said out loud. I needed to stop thinking about Jasper; I needed something to distract me. Edward was right. I should go into work. I picked up my mobile and called Bella.

"Hey Alice." She answered.

"Hey Bells, um, sorry about before, do you still need me to come into work today?"

"If you feel up to it, that would be great."

"Um, yeah, I'll be there in under an hour, ok?" I hoped I had some decent clothes in my small overnight bad I had.

"Sure, see you then."

"Bye Bella."

Ok. Now I needed something decent to wear. I had a long black gypsy shirt, a white t-shirt and a brown knit jacket, my pajama's, a pair of shorts and a red skivvy. My fashion sensor was playing up. I located Edward's iron and gave the skirt and t-shirt a quick once-over. I put on a pair of black ballet shoes, and on second thought, the jacket. On anybody else, this outfit would have looked hippy, but on me, I was please to see, it just looked awesome. It suited the bookstore.

I locked up and drove my Porsche out of the driveway and almost immediately got stuck in traffic.

Sitting in traffic for thirty minutes with nothing to think about straight away made my thoughts float back to Jasper. I remembered when Jasper had first told me he loved me. He kissed me, and the feel of his lips on mine was amazing. And when he spoke in his natural southern accent, it made my heart go wild, I love him with everything I have, but he is just so unpredictable, the smallest things will set him off. I feel like the good-two-shoes, daddy's girl falling for the bad-ass in high school. It was strange.

As I finally neared work I forced thoughts of Jasper out of my mind and concentrated on finding a place to park. I walked into the store after finding somewhere not to sunny, not too close to the road and in the least crowded place possible to park my Porsche. The bell above the door tinkled and I called out to let Bella know that it was only me.

Bella came out of the back room with her hands fun of books, I took half off her and set the on the counter, she did the same and gave me a hug.

"How are you Alice?" she asked me.

"I'm alright, don't worry, so where do these go?" Bella looked at me for a moment, as if deciding whether just to send me home, but in the end she said,

"Those are the new stock we ordered three weeks ago, the supplier finally dropped them off, after I called him numerous times that is. The ones on top go over there," she pointed off to the right, "and these go over there." She pointed again, bit this time to the front of the store.

"Right, ok." I took the ones to go at the front of the story and began to shelve them into their alphabetic order. Bella and I worked in silence for a while, but as the day wore on, it became just like a usual day at the store, no more awkwardness, just me and Bella doing our jobs. When closing time finally rolled around we set off for our cars, talking like nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

"I ran into Edward last night and he asked me out." Bella suddenly said, out of the blue.

"Oh My God!" I squealed! "What did he say? I knew he'd ask you out sometime, what did you say?"

"He said that he thinks I'm a really cute person, and if I wouldn't mind, he'd love to take me out to dinner sometime!"

"So what did _you_ say?" I asked, I was really glad for my best friend. Edward and Bella belonged together, just as much as Emmett and Rosalie did.

"I said, 'What like a date?' and he blushed and said, 'Yeah, like a date. Is Saturday night ok?' and I'm like, 'Yeah, I'd like that'. He's so perfect!"

"That's fantastic Bella!"

"Oh my god! I know! I can't wait!" We gossiped for a bit longer, but eventually I had to go. I had to talk to Edward. With much hugs and congratulations and good bye's I got into my car and drove back to Edward's. He still wasn't home when I got there, so I seated my self on the couch opposite the door and waited. He arrived home at five to four and saw me just sitting there.

"What?" He asked. I just looked at him.

"What?" He asked again. I gave him a huge smile.

"You asked Bella out!" I squealed.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I guess I did." He said, running is fingers through his untidy bronze hair.

"That's great Edward! But, my brother or not, Bella is my best friend and I have an obligation to hurt you if you hurt her."

"Yes Alice." He said, meekly.

"Good boy." I said. "Now, what's for dinner?" Edward seemed surprised at my suddenly cheerful demeanor, but took it in his stride.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­__________________________

I woke up the next morning with a good feeling. No matter how stupid Jasper was, I still loved him, and today I was going to go and find out if he still loved me.

I text Bella:

_am not gonna b in work 2day. Sozzy. Dw about me. I will b there 2mozza. Call u l8er. Luv alice_

I told Edward my plans to go and see Jasper. He agreed wholeheartedly. I got in my Porsche. I drove slowly today. I needed to think. I pulled into the familiar driveway and saw Jasper's bike sitting there. That was odd. He never let his precious bike stay out in the sun for too long. It also looked like he hadn't polished it for a few days. That was really weird.

I walked to the front door and inserted my key into the lock and turned. I didn't see Jasper.

I walked through the kitchen. No Jasper.

I walked into the living room. There was Jasper. Coved in blood.

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**ok, no matter how old this story is, id still love it if you reveiwed it, plz? thx heaps**

**Moony out.**


	23. read the warning b4 the chapter pplz

**Disclaimer: nope, im not Mrs S. Meyer... i doubt she ever though Jasper would turn out lik this aniways...**

**READ NOW! NO NOT READ CHAPTER WITHOUT READING THE WARNING!!!**

**WARNING:  
THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SUICIDAL THEMES. IT IS PARTIALLY GRAPHIC AND IS NOT FOR SENSITIVE PEOPLE. IF YOU LIKE THIS STORY SO FAR AND WOULD LIKE TO READ THE WHOLE THING EXCEPT THIS PLEASE PM ME AND I WILL SEND YOU A OVERVEIW OF THE CHAPTER. ONCE AGAIN, IF YOU ARE A SENSITIVE PERON I WOULD SUGGEST A STORY ABOUT RAINBOWS AND A HAPPY LITTLE LITTLE ELF. ARE WE CLEAR?**

**READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.**

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"What the fuck are you doing!!!" I screamed. I was hysterical. Jasper was sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room with a knife to his arm. What we he doing! How could he be doing this! I thought he was ok!

"Leave me alone." He said, calmly. As I watched, horrified, he slit another shallow cut into his wrist. He face bore so hint of pain. I took a step towards him and suddenly his freakishly calm face turned angry. He held the knife above his own heart.

"Don't come any closer or I swear I'll kill myself." His voice was low and dangerous, somehow leaving me with no doubt that at any wrong move by me he would plunge the knife into his own heart. I stepped back again so I was leaning against the wall. He started to trace something into his forearm, the cool, indifferent look back on his face.

I panicked, and whipped out my phone, out of the blue it was abruptly pulled from my grasp. I looked up; Jasper towered over me, knife in one hand, and my phone in the other. Without a word he threw the phone across the room where it smashed into the opposite wall.

I started to sob uncontrollably, "no… Jasper, please… you'll kill yourself… please, don't…"

Suddenly, he was towering over me again, and this time he looked deadly. He gripped the tops of my arms on his big hands pushed me roughly backward so I smashed into the wall.

"Stop. Crying. Alice." He said gruffly to me. But I only cried harder. He took a step backward and slapped me across the face. My head snapped sideways. I gasped.

"Jasper…" I gasped out. My eyes wide. He took another step backwards and I sank to the ground still holding my cheek. He began cutting himself in earnest. His face began to show a hint of pain, and all I could do was watch the blood pour down his arms.

There was so much blood. It was everywhere. It dripped down his arms onto his shirt and pants. It was all over the carpet and the furniture. It was on my arms, my cloths, even my face, I wanted to scream.

Jasper kneeled over. I knew me must have been unconscious from the blood loss. I grabbed the bloodstained knife and threw it out the open back window. I then ran to the linen cupboard and got towels. I bound his arm and then called triple zero **(A/N or 911, ect… just insert your own emergency number here)** for an ambulance. I gave the woman on the phone the address and then tried to tell her what had happened. I couldn't help but babble incoherently. Jasper had lost so much blood.

I sat on the floor with his head in my arms, still sobbing. I just sat there with nothing to distract me from the thoughts running through my head. With nothing to break the silence. One though kept coming back to me: I hope he is unconscious and not… but my heart would never allow my head to finish that thought.

I put my hand over his heart and I could feel it beating faintly. I smoothed his hair out of his eyes, if not for the blood all over him, he could have been sleeping.

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**well? what do u think? if you hav the courage to flame me saying that this chapter is too graphic then i would suggest that you keep a lookout for assassins in your local neighbourhood. comprende?**

**so, if you did like it: well here you go, i hav been asked for this chapter by a few people and i have realli been building up to it throughout the story, please drop me a line to how u think that this chapter went? plz?**

**Moony out.**


	24. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: nope, im not Mrs S. Meyer... sorry, but i also dnt own twilight... *cries***

**hope you like!**

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The ambulance came screaming to my doorstep. They wouldn't let me ride with Jasper. I kicked and screamed until my feet were sore and my voice was hoarse but they still didn't let me. So I called Emmett. And I sat and waited in the middle of a bloodstained living room for him to pick me up.

I heard the door creaking open. Emmett rushed in, wide-eyed.

"Alice!!" He screamed. He sounded terrified. I must have sounded a mess on the phone. My brain was screaming at me to answer him, to call out, make a noise, anything, but all I could do was sit there. I was paralyzed.

I saw Emmett dash past the entry to the living room, then skid to a half and backtrack.

"Alice." He murmured. I moved my eyes to look at him. Emmett slowly walked forwards to me; as if he was worried I would suddenly turn and run from him. When he was standing right in front he crouched down in front of me.

"Ali?" He asked softly, "Are you alright?" I couldn't move. I couldn't make my mouth form the words to tell Emmett that I was alright. Emmett began to look worried again. He stood up and walked behind me. I felt myself being lifted up and held close. Emmett walked out of the house.

"Ali, I'm going to take you to my place, ok? You are going to stay with me for a while, ok?"

I found my voice, "I'll stay with you Em, but right now I want to go see Jasper."

"No, Ali that's not a good idea right now. For one, he needs to be looked after by the doctors, and you would be in the way. For another, you're covered in blood. You need to get changed."

"If you won't take me to go see Jasper now, then you can put me down and I'll drive myself there." I wasn't going anywhere until I saw Jasper.

"Alice, what's this?" Emmett asked. He set me upright on the ground and placed his hand on my cheek. I refused to make eye contact with him. "He hit you." Emmett took my silence as an affirmative answer. "Alice, he was a good friend in high school, and even for a while after, but now he's just out of control. You need to stop hanging out with him. He's unpredictable." I didn't say anything.

"Come on Ali, let's get you back to my place, he started walking back to his jeep, but I didn't budge.

"Either you take me to Jasper, or I take myself to him." I told Emmett. He looked for a second like he might argue, but gave in.

"Very well." I got into Emmett's jeep and we headed towards the hospital.

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**right, well? you like? you hate? tell me what you think!!! **

**atm i am torn between two paths, i am undecided whether alice should be all loving and forgiving, or angery at and scared of Jasper. what do u think? reveiw me or pm me if u want a say in this issue!**

**reveiw me!  
Moony out.**


	25. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: nope, im not the awesome Mrs S. Meyer... sorry, im just borrowing her characters for now...**

**hope u like this chapter, the majority of people that actually reveiwed me said to hav a loving and forgiving alice... so i kinda did a mix of both, hopee u like - **

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I think the woman at the front desk of the hospital was scared of me.

I walked into the hospital and practically screamed Jasper's name across the table at her. She recoiled from me and looked at Emmett.

"Just tell her what room a Mr. Jasper is in. He would have only just come in." He said. The woman looked down at her computer and started looking. I rapped my knuckles impatiently on the desk.

"He's on third floor north, bed 12." She said at last. I took off up the stairs, taking two at a time, too crazy to wait for an elevator. I got to the top of the stairs, puffing. I heard a faint ding! and then a noise of an elevator opening, and there stood Emmett.

"Are you sure you still want to see him Alice?" He asked me.

"Let me put it to you this way Emmett," I said, "if you don't get out of my way there is no chance in hell that even with your strength you will live to see tomorrow." Emmett looked shocked at me for a second, and then started leading me down the hall.

"Ok Alice lets go."

When we got to the door of Jasper's room, an elderly nurse came out.

"Hello sweetheart, are you here to visit Mr. Newton?"

"Newton? Mike's here?" I nearly screeched.

"Alice, Shh." Emmett calmed me, "Do you mean Jasper, nurse?" Emmett asked. What was going on?

"Yes, young man, Mr. Jasper Newton." She answered.

"No!" I said loudly, "I mean, it's not Newton, he hasn't used that name since he was young, he was adopted. He goes by his birth name now, Whitlock." I explained to the nurse.

"Oh, I see sweetheart. Well, I must say I have no idea why his adoptive parents didn't tell the hospital that. I'll change that right away." She said to us, but I was only half listening, were Mr and Mrs. Newton here? What about Mike? I came back to earth with a thud when I heard Emmett ask:

"Is Mr. Whitlock's adoptive parents and siblings here, nurse?" The nurse looked shocked at us.

"Of course, young man. What would you expect? Such a lovely family. The parents were so worried when they heard that young Mr. Whitlock had been injured." Emmett looked like he was internally gagging. I felt sick to my stomach. Now Jasper's 'family', if you could call them that, were concerned? It didn't make any sense.

"Can we go in and see him?" Emmett asked.

"Of course. Just go right in. He was sleeping a second ago. But he could be awake now."

"Thank you nurse." Emmett said. He pushed open the door and we walked inside to see Jasper's 'parents' standing beside the bed and Mike sitting beside it. The rest of Jasper's adoptive family was sitting against the opposite wall. They all looked up at our arrival.

"Shh!" Mrs. Newton said as we entered, "My poor boy's sleeping." She stroked Jasper's blond hair with her hand. My eyes nearly popped out of my head, and I felt sick again.

"Thank you for the update ma'am." Emmett said, with all politeness. He crossed the room and leant again the unoccupied section of the wall. I crossed the room after him, but went to stand on the opposite side of the bed to the Newton's. Jasper was hooked up to a machine; he was probably getting a blood transfer. I raised my hand and stroked the back of his hand. It was cold and white. His eyelids were closed, but underneath I could see his eyes twitching. I tentatively raised my hand and used the tip of my finger to trace his strong jaw line. Suddenly, my wrist was grabbed very hard and yanked upwards.

"Cant you see he's sleeping, you stupid girl!" Mrs. Newton hissed at me. I looked frightfully at her for maybe one millisecond before Emmett was behind me, his big hand over hers.

"Can't you see she's not disturbing him." He hissed venomously at her. Mrs. Newton let go of my wrist and backed away. Emmett went back to leaning against the wall, but took me with him. He slid down the wall, taking me as well. I sat beside his and lent into his side. He draped his arm across my shoulders.

"Sleep Ali, I'll wake you if anything important happens."

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**oooh! conflict with newton... LOL. i hope u guys liked this chapter and reveiw soon if u want me to update!**

**Moony out.**


	26. The Dream

**Disclaimer: nope, im not the talented Mrs S. Meyer... if i was youd no it!**

**ok, so thx to all the awesome reveiws u posted, this chapter is posted for Raewolf, im very sorry that u were so enjoying my story and was abruptly stopped from reading it. i decided that id better update. hope u lik this chapter, and that it lives up to any expectationa that my reveiwers have!**

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I was shaken awake by Emmett in what looked like the early hours of the morning. But I kept sleeping. I liked sleeping. Nothing made sense and I didn't have to remember anything. All of a sudden I felt my feet leave the ground as Emmett lifted me up and carried me outside. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him carry me where ever.

"Alice!" I heard someone gasp, Emmett carried me into a tiny room.

"It's ok, mum. She's just asleep; she didn't want to wake up. So I got her out of Jasper's room." Mum: Esme… Jasper? I sniffed… Hospital smell. Jasper had tried to kill himself! I remembered in a panic.

"Jasper…?" I mumbled.

"I'll tell you when you're really awake ok Ali?" Emmett said, lying me down on a couch.

"Mmm…" I sighed. I closed my eyes, but I didn't sleep.

"Why aren't you in with him, dad?" Emmett asked.

"Apparently, it was specifically asked that I was not to be on Jasper's case." Carlisle replied. Esme, Emmett and Edward all made sounds of protest.

"Why do you think that is, Carlisle?" A shy voice, Bella, spoke out.

"Well, I'm only guessing here, Bella dear, but I don't think that the Newton's know that we know the truth about Jasper." And his issues, I added mentally.

"I need a coffee." I heard Rosalie say, "Anybody else want one?"

"I'll come with you, baby." Emmett said. I heard them exit the room and everybody else lapsed into silence. It was time for me to 'wake up' again. I let my eyes flutter open.

"G'morning" I yawned.

"It's a very early good morning, sweetie." Esme said, moving to sit beside me on the couch. I stretched.

"Wutz goin on?" I yawned again.

"Um… Carlisle?"

"I'll explain when Emmett and Rosalie come back, ok Alice? They will want to know as well." I nodded and let me head sink into my arms again. But this time, I really did fall asleep.

_I slept, and I dreamed. Dreaming was much, much better than reality. There was no pressure to be more, no worrying, just you and what ever you want. _

_There was a battle field on the plains below me. A battle raged on, and as I watched, a mounted man rode up the mountain towards me. And as he rode, the battle creased to exist, and it was merely a beautiful valley. He galloped up and up on his white steed. As the man neared me, he slowed and jumped off his horse, I turned to watch the horse slow down and stop to nibble at a patch of grass. Then I turned back to the man._

_Jasper was standing in front of me. He gave me a wide carefree smile. _

"_Alice." He said, simply. My eyes were wide._

"_Jasper?" I asked. _

"_Of course. And always." He held out his arms for me and I pressed myself to him. His arms closed around me and I felt safe, and warm. Jasper pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and turned my face to look up at him._

"_Your ok." I said. "I so wanted you to be ok." _

"_Really Alice?" He asked me. I pulled out his right arm, and pushed the sleeve of his black shirt up; his arm was smooth and undamaged. I placed a kiss on has palm and folded it into a fist._

"_Yours, forever." I told him, and he smiled at me. _

_But then his lovely smile changed. His eyes darkened and his face turned to a mask of stone. From his closed fist small lines of red spread up his arms. He was changing into the terrifying, scary Jasper of my nightmares. I started to cry._

"_Stop. Crying. Alice." The scary Jasper said. But I couldn't help it. I looked up into Jasper's eyes and his pupils had turned blood red. But behind those terrifying eyes, a small scared teenage boy with no one to turn to looked out. And then I was falling, falling, falling. Into the inky blackness of my sub consciousness. _

"Alice? Alice!" someone was shaking me awake.

I struggled to answer the person. I was pushed up into a sitting position. Someone was rubbing my wrists.

"Jasper…?" I croaked out.

"In a second, Alice, have a drink first." Edward held a cup of water up to me, I took it and drank. My throat felt better, but I still needed to know about Jasper.

"What about Jasper?" I asked.

"Alice, the thing that you need to understand, is that I can't do anything for him until he wakes up. And that's if he demands me for a doctor. Otherwise, I'm as powerless as you in terms of knowing how Jasper really is, and dealing with his parents." Carlisle told me.

"Ok Carlisle. Now tell me how he is."

"Very well Alice, the long of the short of it is: he lost blood. A lot of blood. And because he lost so much blood, his muscles have limited functions at the moment. Moving is rather painful for him. But he will get better."

"O…k… so when can I see him?" I asked.

"When his family leaves. The doctor working on the case is a good friend of mine and he will be making them all go home in a few hours, you can see him soon."

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**well, i really hope u liked. please, please, please! reveiw me! tell me what you think!! i love getting reveiws, because it means someone likes my writting! thanks to ya'll!**

**Moony out.**


	27. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: nope, im not the amazing and talented Mrs S. Meyer... i can only wish!**

**i hope you guys like! reveiw me at the end if you like the chapter!**

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Those few hours where the longest of my life.

The pain in waiting. The hell in not knowing. Whoever said ignorance is bliss should be shot.

Finally, Dr. Snow walked through the doors. "You can go see Mr. Whitlock now." He said. I was up and out the door before anyone else had moved out of their seats. Emmett caught up to me and grabbed my forearm.

"Slow down Ali, he's not going anywhere." Emmett led me back down the corridors, but as I neared Jasper's room, I began to freeze up. What if he truly didn't love me anymore? Or what if he said he did, but he never did? What if he hits me again for trying to help?

My brain told me that that my fears were irrational. Jasper did love me, he may have hit me, yes, but he wasn't in his right mind at the time. I dragged my feet to his room, my mind knew my instincts were wrong, but it couldn't change them.

Emmett pushed open the door and I slowly and quietly made my way inside. Jasper was still asleep. He looked so peaceful in sleep. He didn't look scary and terrifying. He didn't look like he could hurt a fly. I stood by the side of the bed, looking down at him. Jasper began to stir.

My insides suddenly just froze up. I couldn't move or breathe.

"Alice?" Jasper asked, sleepily. I made my legs move, I nearly ran outside and stopped on the other side of the door and let the tears run down my face.

"Carlisle…?" I heard a bewildered Jasper ask.

"Yes, Jasper?" Carlisle replied.

"What – what just happened?" Poor Jasper, he sounded so confused.

"Do you remember everything that happened to you over the past two days?" Carlisle asked.

"Erm… yeah…" Jasper admitted sheepishly. A doctor came past me and went into Jasper's room.

"Ah, you're awake Mr. Newton." I could practically see Jasper's face becoming the stony mask he wore around strangers.

"Yes, but it's Whitlock. I don't go by Newton anymore." He said.

"Very well, I'll see that the files are chan - Dr. Cullen!" The doctor exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"Out of personal interest only, Doctor, young Jasper here is a friend of my daughter, Alice." Carlisle explained.

"Ah yes. I believe I saw her standing in the doorway, why isn't she in here?" The strange doctor asked.

"She's just a little emotional." Carlisle told him, "She just needed a minute."

"Right then, well, it's good to see you awake Mr. Whitlock."

"Uh huh." Jasper answered.

"I'm sure your parents and family will be very happy, they have been in here since you were brought in."

"The Newton's were here? What the fuck?" Jasper exclaimed angrily.

"Mr. Whitlock! Language! We are in a hospital." There was a pause, in which Jasper was probably rolling his eyes at the doctor. "Now, now, Mr. Whitlock, there was no need for that sort of language. Your family has been very worried about you. I just came in here to tell you that your family has once again appointed me your doctor."

"No." Jasper said.

"Excuse me?" The doctor asked, confused.

"No, I would not like you as my doctor."

"Mr. Whitlock, I have been your doctor since you were a young lad. And your parents wish me to continue treating you and - "

"Dr. Cullen?" Jasper interrupted, "Sine I am over eighteen, by quite a few years, let me remind you, doesn't that mean I have the right to choose who I would rather treat me?"

"Well, yes Jasper, it does mean that." Carlisle told him.

"Right, well Doctor, I would like to thank you for all your help, but from now on I would like Dr. Cullen to be my doctor. And if you happen upon the Newton's, would you kindly inform them that they are no longer welcome in my hospital room."

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**JASPER POWER!!! lol, well? what did you think? was it ok? there is some sweet and romantic and adorable Jasper comming up im pretty sure, so i hope you lik.**

**OMG i am lik, so close to 100 reveiws, so i hav decided that i will update the next chapter when i have over 100, ok guys? and dnt tell me im mean, because atm i hav 98 reveiws!! get reveiwing pplz!!**

**REVEIW ME!!  
Moony out.**


	28. Esme Power

**Disclaimer: nope, im not Mrs S. Meyer... im only borrowing her characters for a while, i promise JAsper will be all better... more or less... when i return him**

**well, i have over 100 reveiws, as one of my reveiws was kind enough to tell me. so heres the chapter i promised you...**

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"Dr. Cullen, I must insist that I see my son!" Mrs. Newton was yelling at Carlisle.

"My apologies, but Jasper has made it very clear that he does not want you in his room at this present moment or in the near future." Carlisle told her, with all politeness.

"Dr. Cullen, am I to understand that you are denying me entry to my own son's hospital room?!" She yelled.

"It pains me to do so, but yes, I am. Jasper has requested that you do not see him." Carlisle tried to tell her again.

"Dr Cullen! I must insist that regardless of my son's wishes, you let me in that room to talk some sense into him! Else you will find that there is little that is more dangerous that mother not allowed to see her child!"

"And you will find, Mrs. Newton that one of those few things more dangerous than a mother not allowed to see her child is Jasper when he is forced to see someone he has repeatedly asked not to see!" Carlisle was finally starting to get a bit angry.

I walked around the corner to see Carlisle standing in front of Jasper's door and Mrs. Newton standing across from him.

"Carlisle, is everything alright?" I asked. But before he could answer, Mrs. Newton turned to me.

"It's you! I knew it! You have poisoned my son against me!" She screeched at me. "He was perfectly fine as a child and then he became friends with you!"

"That is enough!" A feminine voice suddenly shrieked. I turned to see Esme behind me. "That is enough." She repeated. "You will not talk to my daughter like that. She has been nothing but a good friend to Jasper since she met him. You should leave. Now."

Mrs. Newton was gaping like a fish. Esme narrowed her eyes. It was not hard to imagine her breathing fire right about now. If there was one thing I'd learnt in the Cullen household, it was not to break Esme's good china, and to tell her if someone had hurt us, because there was _nothing_, absolutely _nothing_, more dangerous than Esme when she had set out to defend one of her children.

Mrs. Newton seemed to get the message and turned tail and left. Esme gave me a quick hug. "Are you alright darling?" She asked me.

"Yeah, don't worry, Esme." Esme let go of me when Carlisle came up behind her.

"You know, sweetheart," he said, "you look quite sexy when you're mad." My eyes went wide and my eyebrows shot so far up they were in danger of disappearing into my hair.

"Ew! Carlisle!" I exclaimed.

"Not in front of the kid's sweetie." Carlisle chuckled and gave her a kiss on the top of her head before disappearing into Jasper's room. I looked at Esme, and she smiled at me.

Carlisle poked his head out of the room, "If you want to come in, Alice, Jasper's semi-conscious."

"Um… ok." I said, Esme looked at me. I didn't want to walk in alone though: "Hold my hand… mum?"

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**Not to Self: never piss off Esme...**

**so what did you think? ESME POWER ALL THE WAY!!! i hope you liked this chapter!!! reveiw me plz! ok, so there isant much in this chapter... should i update again 2nite, or no?**

**Moony out.**


	29. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: nope, im not the actualy the author of the Twilight Saga... i wish...**

** ok, so this is a really short chapter so i'm going to be updating again very soon. i hope you lik this little chapter though!**

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Esme took my hand and led me into the hospital room. Jasper was in a nearly sitting position on his bed, and looking like he only just knew what was going on. He didn't look dangerous at all.

"Alice…?" He said.

"Y-yes?"

"I'm so sorry…" He mumbled. My heart leapt.

"Jasper, you didn't know what you were doing, its ok." I told him.

"I can't live without you Alice. I love you." He said indistinctly, before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

"Well, I think that's that." Said Esme.

"He didn't know what he was saying…" I said. And it was true. He will wake up in a few hours and not remember any of this.

"Alice, it's possible that he will remember exactly what he said to you." Carlisle interrupted.

"Oh." I said in a small voice.

"Alice, sweetie, maybe you should go home." Esme said.

"Esme, her living room is covered in blood, so I'll take her back to my place ok?" Edward said, "Her stuff is already there." I nodded. I would go back to Edward's… for now.

"I'll come." Emmett volunteered.

I gave everyone a hug and waved as we left the room. Edward, Emmett and I took the elevator down and walked out in silence. Similarly, the drive back to Edward's place was just as silent, even with Emmett in the car. I sat on the window side, looking out at the landscape flying by, I never thought I'd say this, but I missed riding on Jasper's bike with him. I missed holding him as we went around corners; I missed hearing him laugh as I would hug him tight when he did something particularly stupid. I just missed everything about him, from his smile when things were ok, to his hugs when things weren't. I even missed his brooding silences when he wasn't happy himself.

When we got back to the apartment I was tired again, Emmett carried my up the stairs and Edward opened his door. Emmett carried me into Edward's spare room and lay me down on the bed.

"I want to go back to the hospital; when I wake up, ok?" I said, sleepily to him.

"Sure, Alice, anything you say." He told me. I drifted off to sleep.

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**once again, sorry its so short, ill update asap. but u still must reveiw me... plz?**

**Moony out.**


	30. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: nope, im not the author of this, Mrs S. Meyer owns it all.. go her!**

**ok, so im trying to slowly make my chapters longer... its not working so well, but i am trying... dont forget to click on the little buttong at the bottom of the page that says 'reveiw this story/chapter (OR ELSE)' thx *innoccent eyes***

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I woke up in a mess of tangled limbs (my own) and bed sheets. I yawned. Where was Jasper? Then I remembered.

I sighed to myself. It was going to be a long day again. Edward knocked on my door,

"Alice? You awake?" I was having déjà.

"Yeah Edward." I said, and Edward opened the door.

"Carlisle just called…" I sat up straight in bed.

"What did he say?!" I demanded.

"Just that Jasper is awake, coherent and wants to see you, if you don't mind seeing him." Edward told me.

"Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go!" I jumped out of bed and moved around the room, looking for some clean clothes. Edward left me to get changed.

When we were both ready we were back in the car, Edward hesitated, before putting the key in the ignition, "I feel like we've forgotten something…something important…" He said. Edward looked at me.

Then someone walked into the garage. "Yeah, very nice guys, thanks for waiting." Emmett grumbled as he got into the backseat of the Volvo.

Oops.

"Still feel like we've forgotten something?" I asked Edward. He chuckled.

"Actually, no."

"Let's just go…" Emmett whined from the backseat. Edward pulled out of the garage, onto the street and headed towards the hospital.

The drive was relatively quiet, because Emmett was still sulking about being nearly left behind. We pulled into the hospital parking lot and started searching for a spot. I was starting to get anxious. "Come on, come on, come on…" I said under my breath.

"How about you drop me and Alice off at the entrance? We can meet you in there later." Emmett suggested, sensing my anxiety. Edward agreed and dropped us outside the main door, I nearly sprinted off, but Emmett held my arm.

"None of that." He said. "You might run into the wicked witch of the west wing." I smiled. We power-walked to the elevators and the to Jasper's room, I knocked on the door, and Carlisle called for us to go in.

Jasper was sitting up in bed, he was only half awake, but you could see that it wasn't a drug-induced stupor.

"Dr. Cullen, could we have a moment please?" Jasper asked, sleepily.

"Of course. Emmett, come with me." Carlisle left the room, towing Emmett behind him.

I stood awkwardly in the door way. I could feel Jasper's gaze on me.

"Alice?" He asked. I crossed the room, and sat on the edge of his bed, I wasn't afraid of him anymore.

"Why did you do that Jasper? I love you and you know it, why did you do that?" I asked him, tears starting to well up in my eye.

"I'm so sorry Alice, I thought I'd lost you, I thought you didn't love me anymore, I wasn't going to live without you. Can you ever forgive me?" Jasper asked, pleadingly.

"Why would you think that I didn't love you? Haven't I told you enough? Tell me Jasper and I'll set it straight, I promise." I clasped his big hand in both of mine.

"I just – I can never see – I just don't know – I'm not sure how to explain it Alice. You deserve, so much better than me. Someone who doesn't try to take the easy way out when things get tough. Someone stronger, who isn't as weak as me." He tried to make me understand, but all I heard was waffle.

"Jasper. Stop talking." Jasper stopped and looked at me. "When I see the scars on you back, I see someone who has had a troubled life, but is still here. That is proof of your strength. When I see the scars across your wrists, I see a man who would kill himself to make me happy. That is proof of your love." I detached one of my hands and ran it through his hair. Jasper struggled to sit up. I helped him.

"No matter how I act, I still love you, I'm glad you know that." He ran his hand over me cheek, and frowned. I caught sight of us in the mirror on the bedside table; there was a red mark on my cheek. "Did I do this?" Jasper breathed out. I started to cry, now he was going to blame himself for all of this. The tears ran down my cheeks and I nodded.

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**oooh! a not so evil cliffie!**

**wellllll? what did u think....? tell me! dont you just love Emmett? he's such a sweetie! ok, so plz reveiw me, and if u do ill post the next chapter asap ok!!!**

**Moony out.**


	31. Chapter 34

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Disclaimer: nope, not the author, youd no it if i was

**ok, so i wrote this chapter at lik midnight last nite... so it probs wont make much sense... sorry about that... if its too confusing just tell me and ill re-edit it**

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Jasper's face contorted in pain. "I d-did this?" He asked again.

"Y-yes…" I said through my tears, "B-but you didn't know what you were doing! You h-had no idea! You were mad! I d-don't b-blame you!" Jasper wiped the tears off my face.

"Ali, Ali, I'm so sorry," Jasper gently pulled me in close to him, into the protection of his arms, but still giving me the option of pulling away if I wanted to, "see, this is exactly why I don't deserve you."

"Please stop saying that." I said against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into my hair. He carefully wrapped his arms around me and held me close. Suddenly, loud shouting broke out in the corridor. Mrs. Newton's voice could be heard, yelling at Carlisle.

"Can't we have one moment alone without some kind of interruption?" Jasper seethed. "God must hate me!"

"It's ok, it's ok." I ran my hand down Jasper's arm, "Don't worry, Carlisle can't let her in here without your permission."

"I should just deal with her. Can you ask Carlisle to let her in?"

"Are you sure, you don't have to if you don't want to?"

"I'm sure Ali, just tell him please." I nodded, and made my way over to the door, I opened it and poked my head out.

"Umm… Carlisle?" I asked quietly, but Mrs. Newton heard me.

"It's her! I knew she was in there! She is the one that is turning my own son against me!"

"MRS. NEWTON!!!" Carlisle thundered. "STOP ACCUSING MY DAUGHTER!!!" Mrs. Newton looked at Carlisle for a second, before steeling her jaw.

"Stop trying to pretend that she is your daughter, Carlisle. Everybody knows that you adopted her." Carlisle looked very confused.

"What has that got to do with anything? Jasper is your adoptive son, yet you call him your son?" I was very confused and so was Carlisle. Mrs. Newton looked deflated.

"I… but… Alice knew? What?"

"Mrs. Newton, you seem under the impression that I have tried to hide that fact that my children are adopted. I would like to assure you that that is not the case and express my disgust at your blatant disregard for my family's privacy. Now if we could please return to the issue at hand. What was it you wanted Alice?"

"Umm…" I had to struggle for a second to remember, "Oh yeah. Jasper says that if Mrs. Newton wants to see him, now is ok." I said.

"Right, Mrs. Newton, if you want to see your son, you may go in." Mrs. Newton walked in with her nose in the air. I followed her quietly.

"Jasper! My boy! Why did you not want to see your own mother?" Mrs. Newton walked to Jasper's bedside and tried to embrace him. He pushed her off. He caught site of me and smiled. Mrs. Newton followed his gaze and saw me also, I shrank back.

"You. Out. I want some alone time with my son." I nodded and turned to leave.

"No Alice." Jasper called after me. "Come back in, you have more right than her," he pointed at Mrs. Newton, "to be here." I smiled at him and moved to stand beside the bed. "Sit?" He asked. I sat down beside him and he gave me a peck on the cheek and took my hand. "Now, what is it you wanted, Karen?" He asked.

"Address you mother properly." She commanded.

"Karen, addressing you as mother would imply that I am part of your family, and that is not the case, you did raise me, but you are not my family. What else do you want?"

"You do not want Dr. Young to treat you?"

"No. I prefer a doctor who treats me with more respect and less like a mental patient. And frankly, Dr. Cullen is the best doctor in this place." Jasper said, calmly. Mrs. Newton's jaw dropped.

"Jasper Newton! Adopted or not I am still your mother and you will treat me with respect and honor my decisions!" Mrs. Newton yelled at Jasper, a vein twitched in Jasper's temple, he was really mad. I moved off the bed and slunk into an arm chair, where I would have a good view.

"Adopted or not you are NOT my mother! I have no need to treat you with any more respect than I would any other adult. You do not make decisions about my life! Look how well that worked out last time! I got my back sliced open! I am over eighteen and perfectly capable of making my own decisions! And last but not least: never call me Jasper Newton ever again. My name is Jasper Whitlock. Understand?"

"Very well Jasper, I see that you cannot be reasoned with." Mrs. Newton said.

"No, I cannot, and one more thing. You should apologize to Alice. You have been unnecessarily rude to her and she did nothing to deserve it."

"My apologies Miss Cullen. Goodbye Jasper." And with that she stalked out of the room in a fury.

"And with that, she was out of their lives…" Jasper muttered under his breath. "Oh, I've waited a long time for a chance to do that."

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**does it need re-editing? if it does or if it dont reveiw me and tell me wat u think of my stort thx heaps**

**Moony**

**Ps- check out Emmy 1512's profile if u havent already, she's a fucking awesome writter!**


	32. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: yeah... so im not the actual author of this, but i hope u lik it anyway**

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I couldn't help it: I burst into laughter. Jasper looked at me quizzically, and then started to smile, and then started to chuckle quietly, and then, he started to laugh.

"Why… are we… laughing…Alice?" He asked between spurts of laughter.

"I… don't know…" I answered him. As our laughter died down, Carlisle poked his head in the door.

"Just thought I'd let you know, Jasper, that a doctor is always glad to know that he's appreciated, and that you should be able to leave within the next four days." As Carlisle hurried off, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Bella and Esme walked in together.

"We're off sweetie; we have some stuff to do." Esme told me.

"Yeah, some of us have a bookstore to open." Bella said, with mock anger.

"Oh Bella! I'm so sorry! I haven't been a very good partner to you lately! I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed.

"Don't worry Alice; I was kidding, see you later. Get better Jasper." Edward gave me a quick hug, nodded to Jasper and walked out with Bella.

"See ya little sis!" Emmett said, giving me a bear hug and ruffling my already ruffled hair.

"See ya big brother." I said.

"Get better man." Emmett said to Jasper, he slung his arm around Rosalie and walked out the door, as they did; Rose turned to us and nodded.

"See you both later, get better Jasper." She said. Esme gave me a warm, motherly hug.

"Good bye sweetie. I'll see you later ok?" She patted Jasper gently on the shoulder. "Get better real soon ok?" Jasper nodded and Esme walked out after the others.

Jasper lay back in the bed. "Tired?" I asked him.

"Renouncing one's mother, adoptive or not, takes a lot out of one." He said. I cuddled up next to him, spent as well.

"Good night." I said, even though it was the middle of the afternoon.

"Night Ali." He said, kissing the top of my head.

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**OK! so what does everyone think? ok, so the chapter is short, within the next couple of chapters i am trying to increase the chapter leagth to about 1000 words per chapter, its not working well, but im trying, hope u lik this chapter and remember: I LOVE REVIEWS**

**Moony out.**


	33. a very quick, hadtobedone BPOV

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Disclaimer: nope, im not the author, sorry about that

**ok, i agree with you-will-be-my-squishy, this story is getting a tad boring, so bear with me for one or two chapters, and i hav some adorablely sweet Jasper for you! ps. this chapter just had to be done!**

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BPOV

We all walked out of the hospital and piled into Emmett's huge jeep. Alice was going to have the surprise of her life when she returned home.

"Alright! Let's go!" Said Emmett eagerly. We pulled up at lice's apartment twenty minutes later.

"Rosalie? You first." I said. Rosalie hopped out of the jeep first and ran to the door; the rest of us piled out and began to unpack the truck. We pulled all out stuff up to Alice's front door, where Rosalie was picking the lock with a bobby pin. While she was doing that, I ran through a checklist.

"Mops?" I asked.

"Check!" called Emmett waving several mops in the air.

"Buckets?"

"Here Bella." My Edward said, holding up a stack.

"Cleaning rags?"

"In my pocket." Said Rosalie, sounding strange because she had a store of bobby pins in her mouth.

"Carpet cleaner and paint?"

"Right here darling." Esme sang out.

"Queasiness tablets… Bella?" Emmett asked, playfully.

"Actually, yes." I said, taking a small box from my pocket. 'To settle your stomach', the label said. I hope it was right.

"Got' it!" Rose exclaimed, her mouth still full of bobby pins. She swung open the door. We all gasped, except Emmett, he had seen it before.

"This may take a few days…" I said

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**Ok, so i think that in a few chapters they will start getting longer. once again, bear with me for adorably sweet JAsper in comming chapters, reveiw me plz!**

**Moony out.**


	34. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: nope, im not the actual author, and if u dnt no that by now than ur a sad sad person**

**ok, so im starting to think about how this story is gonna end. and i want ur opinion, who wants a happy ending, and who wants a sad ending?**

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APOV

Jasper was due to be released tomorrow. I was so happy to be getting out of the hospital, and Jasper agreed. Carlisle had talked to me and it seemed that the blood transfusions had gone well and that his muscles were all in proper working order again. He was a free man.

"We're going home tomorrow!" I said to Jasper.

"… um, Alice? You do realize that out living room will kinda be a mess."

"Oh." I hadn't thought of that. "I can just clean it tomorrow." I said, "Shouldn't be too much of a problem."

"I'll help Ali, it's my fault." Jasper said, always the gentleman.

"Whatever you want Jasper." I knew that there was no way he was doing anything more exciting than watching TV, but he didn't have to know that. The day passed uneventfully, which was strange for us.

At 4:00, a nurse came in. "Angela!" I exclaimed. Angela had been at school with us, she was a nice person, and very understanding.

"Alice Cullen! Oh my gosh! You… you haven't changed one bit!" she squealed.

"Haha! Neither have you!"

"Thanks, so I'm guessing that this would be Jasper?" She asked.

"Yes." Jasper nodded.

"Right, well Jasper, it's great so see you again, but I'm very sorry your a patient here. Now, Dr. Cullen says that if you can stand up and walk about for a while, truthfully, without much pain, then you are fine to go home tomorrow." She said.

"Well, lets get this over with." Angela and I helped Jasper up. He was unsteady for a second, but stood fine on his own.

"Now for the hard part," I said, "being able to tell if he's in pain." Jasper rolled his eyes at me. I stood in front of him, and gave him my very best puppy dog eyes. "Are you in pain?" I breathed out. He bent his head down to me, and cupped my cheek, "No ma'am, I'm really sure I'll be jist fine…" He breathed at me. In. That. God. Dam. Southern. Accent. That boy had talent.

"I think he's ok." I told Angela. I was dizzy. No, I was, to quote Bella, dazzled.

Angela smiled a knowing smile, "Right, I'll relay that to Dr. Cullen, so he can sign your release papers tomorrow."

"Right it was nice to see you again Angela, maybe next time I see you it will be under different circumstances." I said. Angela nodded, laughed and was out the door.

Jasper slowly limped over to the window. "It's sunset, and the sky is clear." He told me. I went and stood beside him.

"So it is." I remarked. I stood in front of him and he wrapped his arms around my waist, and lent his chin on the top of my head.

"One day I'm going to take you somewhere sunny, to the beach, and we can watch the sunset there, because there's really nothing nice about watching the sunset from a hospital room." He told me.

"You promise Jasper?" I whispered.

"Anything your little heart desires, ma'am." He slipped into his southern accent again and I felt my knees go weak.

As the sun slipped below the clouds, Jasper turned to me and hugged me close. "I promise I'll never do anything like that ever again." He told me. He pressed his lips to mine, I felt him pouring all his love for me into the kiss. I tangled my hands in his blond hair. His hands made their way under my shirt – at the back – and lazily started drawing patterns on my lower back. I muffled cough from the doorway stopped us both in our tracks.

We turned, Jasper keeping his arms around my waist, but on the outside of my shirt. "What the hell Jasper?" Said the unwelcome person.

"What the fuck are you doing here Mike?" So much for our non-eventful day.

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**is this any less boring for you guys? i hope so! reveiw me!**

**Moony out.**


	35. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: nope, im not the author, sorry about that!**

**ok, so im slowly getting into the cute, caring, sweet Jasper, wait till u read the adorable chapters i have planned for you! and how do u want this fic to end?**

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"Just checkin up on you bro." Mike said. "Poor Alice, I'm surprised that she hasn't started screaming rape yet. What chick would want to be felt up by you?" I forced myself to remain calm; Jasper was not doing a very good job either.

"Fuck off Mike." He said, low and deadly.

"Now, now, that's not nice." Mike said.

Suddenly, Jasper smiled, "Don't you remember the little chat we had a few days before I was chucked in here?" Jasper gestured around him with one hand, at the hospital room. Mike turned green.

"Th-they said that you probably wouldn't remember that…" He squeaked out.

"Well, I do and I'm like to remind you of what I said." Jasper told him. Mike took one terrified glance at Jasper and I, before turning tail and running off.

I threw my arms around Jasper and kissed him with a passion. "That's right," I said, as I came up for air, "No fighting, just words. I do believe I have taught you well."

Jasper laughed, and began to attack my neck. I wound my arms around his neck as his lips moved to my jaw.

"Excuse me, that is our sister."

I broke away from Jasper to see Emmett and Edward standing in the doorway.

"Sorry boys," Jasper said, "she's all yours."

Emmett gave me a hug, and then Edward did. "We just came in to tell you that we're leaving and we'll be back in the morning to take the patient here home, ok?"

"Alright boys, night and see you tomorrow." I said.

"Hey Ali? Don't stay out too late now!" Emmett said as he walked out the door, narrowly avoiding the shoe I threw at him.

Jasper laughed at me, "Come on, come sit down." He said. I lay down on the bed with him and he wrapped his arms around me again. "Sleep here tonight?" He asked me. I nodded my head and moved closer to him.

"Are you ok? About the Mike thing, I mean?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I'm just having a hard time not letting what he says go to my head." Jasper sighed.

"Well, ignore him, just remember: I love you and nothing will change that." I told him.

"I love you too Ali." He whispered into my ear. We fell asleep after hours of talking, waking when the sun rose over the horizon again.

"Alice, why am I awake?" Jasper mumbled.

"I dunno…" I said. Then I gasped, "Your going home today!" I squealed.

"Uh huh… now can we go back to sleep?" Jasper asked. I got off the bed.

"You can, but I'm going to find Carlisle." I picked up my shoe from the floor, where it had been since I threw it at Emmett last night, and walked out, "I'll be back soon, ok?" I said.

"Uh huh…" Came Jasper's sleepy reply. I left him to sleep and wandered the halls, until I found Carlisle.

"When can Jasper be released?" I asked him. I wanted to be out of here ASAP, and I'm very sure Jasper did too.

"Alice, its 6:04 in the morning. He can be released at 7:30 at the earliest." Carlisle said.

"But Carrrllliiisssllleee…" I whined, "You're a doctor, surely you can sign him out early…?" I asked.

"Alice," Carlisle laughed, "I can't do that, besides, I'm sure Jasper still wants to sleep." I pouted.

"Fine." I turned on my heel and walked back the way I came. Jasper was sleeping when I got back to the room. I went back over to the bed and climbed in beside Jasper.

"Mmm… your back now. Now I can sleep…" He said as I settled against him.

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**alrite, majorly adorable Jasper comming right up! dont forget to reveiw me! **

**Moony out.**


	36. Chapter 38

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Disclaimer: nope, im not the author, sorry

**so, i hope u guys like this chapter, im realli happy with all the awesome reveiws im getting, keep up the awesomness!!!**

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We woke again a few hours later. Jasper was nuzzling my shoulder. "Jasper…" I laughed, "stop that, its - " I checked the clock, " – 10:00! We can go now!"

"Hoo-rah." Jasper said, "And I was just starting to like this place…"

"Jasper! Come on, I want out of here." We tumbled out of bed started to gather Jasper's stuff. "Go get changed," I told him, "I can't stand to see you in those white clothes any longer."

"Yes ma'am…" He said, before grabbing his bag and getting changed in the small bathroom. After a second we came back out in blue (yes, blue, not black) jeans (I didn't even know he owned blue jeans), and a black hoodie over a navy t shirt… very nice. I'll bet Edward had packed Jasper's bag for him. Or Emmett…

"What?" Asked Jasper, I realized I had been staring. I shook my head.

"Nothin…" We packed Jasper's bag and headed out to the front desk. Carlisle had already signed the papers and Jasper and I waited on the curb for Edward. He turned up twenty minutes after we called and got into his Volvo. "Home please, cabbie." I said as we got in.

"You got it!" Edward said. As we neared the house Edward said: "I hope you don't mind, Jasper. Me and Emmett came round to check on your apartment, and your bike was in the driveway, so we put it away for you."

Jasper nodded, "Thanks" He said. But I could tell that he was really very grateful, his bike was his life. Edward pulled into the driveway and we got out of the car. Edward opened the door for us and we stepped into our living room. And gasped.

What had been a disaster area had somehow been transformed into a living room. It was very clean. Suddenly, my family popped up from various places around the room:

"Surprise!" They all cried.

"Oh my god, you guys…!" I said.

"It was all Bella's idea." Edward told me. Of course it was. Bella was the most caring and sensitive person I knew.

"Welcome home, Jasper." I heard Esme say, I turned, she was giving Jasper a hug, he looked at me, startled, for a second, before awkwardly returning the hug. I smiled at him. Esme let go of Jasper, and he looked rather relieved, Esme sensed his awkwardness and gave him some space. Unfortunately, Emmett wasn't that courteous.

"Jasper!" He boomed, "It's great your home, man!" he slung on of his huge arms around Jasper's shoulders; Jasper looked as if he was going to buckle.

"Come on Emmett, Jasper should sit down." I said, rescuing Jasper from Emmett. Carlisle and Esme came over to see me.

"A word?" Esme motioned me into the kitchen.

"What is it Esme?" I asked her.

"Jasper, sweetheart. He's not very comfortable with your family here, is he?" She said. Esme was very perceptive. Maybe that's what made her such a great physiatrist.

"No, he's not. He's not a very people person." I said.

"We should go then." Carlisle said.

"Oh no! Please, don't make me feel like I'm kicking you out!" I said.

"You're not darling, but Jasper needs to be comfortable with people." Determined, Esme walked back into the living room. "Ok everyone, parties over! Everybody say your good byes and let's leave Alice and Jasper to re-settle!" She called out. One by one, my huge obnoxious but loving family (and yes, I counted Bella as family) left.

"Come on, let's go upstairs." I told Jasper, once I had finally managed to get Emmett out the door. I helped Jasper up the staircase and we, naturally, went into his room.

"You know, Alice," He said as we sat down on his bed, "You really should consider just moving all your stuff in here, its not like you're ever in your room anyway."

I laughed, "That's true." I said. "So, are we just gonna hang out here all day?" I asked.

"Guess so, have you got a better idea?"

"Umm… no?" I said.

"Exactly. So do you know when I can ride my bike again?"

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**ok! so what did you think? u lik? u love? u hate? plz tell me wat u think!!! reveiw me!!**

**Moony out.**


	37. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: nope, im not the real author of this, im just borrowing Mrs S. Meyers characters for a while.**

**ok, hope u guys lik this chaper, and i love u all for reveiwing!!**

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Alice and I had spent all day in my room, just talking. Then night had fallen and we'd both gone downstairs to make dinner. Ok, so it was only pasta, but still. Then we'd cleaned up. That was actually fun. Id gotten bubbles in Alice's hair, and she'd ended up throwing a pan-full of water at me. When we had finally finished cleaning up we trooped upstairs again. She had fallen asleep in my arms.

I looked down at her. She looked like an angel. She was my guardian angel. I couldn't believe that she still loved me, even after how stupid I had been. That just proved that I didn't deserve her. She was far too perfect for someone like me. But, by some glitch, or as I would call it, miracle, she loved me, and that was all that mattered.

Alice rolled out of my arms. I missed her warmth, but I didn't want to risk waking her for something so trivial. I got up, and silently walked into the bathroom. I turned on the light and sat down on the bathroom floor. I looked at my wrist. 'Alice'. I had engraved into my skin with my blade. I had avoided doing this in the ward, because there was always someone in the room with me, I didn't want to disturb anyone. I traced my fingers over the cuts. I remembered the despair I felt.

I remembered the relief that cutting into my own arm had bought me. I remembered the pain, and the sight of the bright red blood running down my arm. It had felt so right at the time, as sick as that sounds. It had given me another pain, physical pain, to think about for a while. It had felt good. Did that mean that I was just a sick, strange, self-hating person? Well, I was self-hating, I could admit that. But it had hurt Alice. And I wasn't to do it again. No matter how fucked up my life was, which was a lot, I wasn't going to bring pain to Alice just to ease my pain. It would never happen again. Hurting myself physically meant hurting Alice emotionally. I had learnt that the hard way. And there was no way I needed another lesson on it. I knew it only too well.

Suddenly, I heard light feet walking along the hallway. Then Alice appeared in the doorway.

"Jasper?" She yawned. She looked so adorable.

"Yeah Alice, don't mind me, go back to sleep, ok?" I told her quietly.

"What are you doing?" She asked me.

"Nothing, I just couldn't sleep, go back to bed, I'll be there in a sec." I whispered. But Alice didn't leave; instead, she came over to me. she crawled into my lap. At first I was a little shocked. But she rested her head against my chest and took a deep breath.

"You really scared me Jasper." She said. I drew in a breath sharply.

"What do you mean, Alice?" I asked her gently.

"Seeing you, covered in blood, holding that knife. I didn't want you to die." This girl, this angel could never have been meant for me. She was just far too perfect. She loved me way more than I deserved.

"Alice, I'm so sorry. I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how sorry I am. I thought that you had left me forever. And there was no way that was going to go down with me." I told her truthfully.

"Just don't do it again." She said, burying her head against my chest, she began to cry softly. I began to stroke her hair. I was so stupid. Why did she love me? What could she possibly see in me?

"Shh… it's ok Ali, I promise, it'll never happen again… I promise." I whispered into her ear.

"Do you really?" She asked.

"I'll sign a contract in my own blood if it will help convince you." I joked lamely. She managed a small smile for me.

"I'd rather you didn't." She said.

"Then you'll just have to take me at my word." I said.

"Mhm… Jasper? I'm tired." She said. Poor Alice, she must have had a terrible week, even when I was trying to take myself out of her life for her, I still ended up hurting her.

"Ok, Ali, sleep. I'll take you back to your room." I moved her off my lap gently, and stood up. "Just stand up for me Ali." She stood up and I scooped her up into my arms.

"Not my room, your room…" She mumbled.

"Ok Ali." I walked slowly, as not to stir her. Getting through the doorway was tricky, but I managed it eventually. I put Alice down on the bed and pulled back the covers. I placed her in the bed and then went back to turn the bathroom light off. I bumped into my doorframe on the way back. I crawled into the bed next to Alice, rubbing my nose. Ouch.

As if she felt my presence, Alice snuggled against me. She was the sweetest person; she always knew how to make me feel better. Even when she was asleep.

"Love you, Jasper…" She yawned in her sleep.

"I know Ali, and I love you too…" I told her sleeping form. I stayed awake after she had fallen asleep. I thought about my promise to her. Could I make good?

Self-mutilation had been my way of coping for a long time now. There was just something I liked about taking my frustration out with my blade, on myself. Ever since forever I had thought that I was worthless. Could I change for Alice? She deserves someone completely opposite of me. She deserved someone strong, someone whole, someone who could love her without feeling like they were doing the wrong thing. I was weak, broken and could never love her like she deserved. But she said that she loved me. That meant that she wanted me. She had said that she thought that I was strong, and could love her. She may be wrong, but the least that I could do was try. Try for her. Try for Alice.

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**ok, a kinda cute chapter there. i realli hope u guys liked it!! plz reveiw me and tell me how u think i should end it plz!**

**Moony out.**


	38. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer: nope, im not the author, sorry**

**ok, so the chapters are starting to get longer (finally!) for you, so i hope ur happy! enjoy the newest addition to my story!!**

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APOV

I yawned, I stretched, my palm hit something. Jasper groaned. I had hit him in the nose.

"Ow… my nose, Not again!" He grumbled.

"Oops… sorry Jasper… what do u mean 'again'?" I asked.

"I hit my nose on the door frame last night…" He said, rubbing his nose.

"Oooh… poor Jasper…" I cooed. I stretched up to him, and placed a kiss on his nose. "All better?" I asked.

"No. You missed." He said cheekily. He rolled himself so that he was hovering over me. his knees on either side of my hips, his hands either side of my head. "And seeing as you did just kill my nose, you ought to be the one to fix it right back up…" He said.

"Hmmhmm… you got it…" I propped myself awkwardly up on my elbows and kissed his nose again, I tried to lie back onto the bed, but Jasper lowered himself so that he was braced on the bed with one arm, and had the other one around my waist, holding me up to him.

"You still missed…" He drawled. I sighed. He lowered his lips to my jaw and began to kiss around to my mouth, and, finally, securing his lips to mine.

"That's not your nose." I pointed out, "I do believe your taking advantage of me."

"But you love me for it…" He said, attacking my neck now.

"Uh huh… yeah… love you for it… yep…" I stumbled over my words. Jasper chuckled into my neck at me. I tried to raise my arms, and I gripped his shoulders and gently pushed him off me… a bit anyway… I liked this side of Jasper too much to let him go now. Eventually I got him off me enough to reach up and kiss the side of his jaw, the tables had been turned. I ran my hands down his strong chest and played with the hemline of his shirt. I made a mental note to come back to that later as I ran my hands back up his back, feeling his muscles twitch as my small hands ghosted over them. Jasper shuddered. I pressed my lips against his again and he responded with fervor.

"Jasper…" I gasped for air.

"Mmhmm?" He mumbled.

"Uh… Jasper…?" This time I wasn't gasping or moaning. The arm attached to the hand that was currently stroking my face had blood running down it. It looked like some of the deeper cuts had re-opened. "Jasper…?" I tapped him on the shoulder.

"Oh Fuck!" He exclaimed when he noticed. "Well that's a mood wrecker…" He sighed. "I'll go clean this up…"

Great. Just great. Typical. God didn't only hate Jasper. He or she hated me as well. I looked up "Come on!" I hissed at whoever was up there.

I could hear the tap running in the bathroom. I doubted that we were going to continue where we left off just before, so I just stripped the bed and went down stairs to do a load of washing. Jasper came down after a while with a white bandage around his wrist.

"Sorry about that." He said, coming up behind me. I laughed at him.

"You can't help it…" I sighed. Jasper wrapped his arms around me and nibbled on the spot just behind my ear.

"So…" He said, "You never did tell me when I can ride my bike again…"

"Uh…" I thought for a second. "Carlisle didn't say…"

"Maybe you should call him and ask…?" Jasper said, running his fingertips up and down my sides, I liked at, it tickled a little bit.

"Mmm… Ok." I sighed.

"Excellent!" he said, moving his hands from my sides, he walked around me and flopped down onto the couch. I groaned in annoyance.

"Tease." I muttered. "You're in a good mood today." I said aloud.

"I sure am." He said in his sexy southern accent that made my knees go weak. What had gotten into him today? Not that I minded, but it was unusual. After a bit of searching, I found my phone, and after a two minute conversation with Carlisle, I said my good byes and hung up.

"Well?" Jasper asked.

"He said that you can ride it whenever you want, as long as you stick to the speed limit." I told him.

"Sweet! Let's go out now!" He exclaimed, when it came to his bike, Jasper was like a kid at Christmas. Ok, maybe not, but he was in a better mood when he knew that he could just take off on his bike.

"Uh…. NO! I still my legs are still sore from the last time I was on your bike." I told him. There was no way I was going riding again. His bike killed my legs.

"Fine then, I'll go by myself, and I promise to come home to you." He said sweetly. He yanked me down onto his lap, and encircled his arms around my waist, looking into my eyes, "Are you sure you don't want to come?" he asked.

"Absolutely fucking positive. I hate that bike and you know it." I told him firmly, resting my hands on his shoulders. He moved his head so that our foreheads were touching.

"But Alice…" He begged.

"As much as I absolutely love to hear you beg, my answer is still no, Jasper." I told him.

"Ok, ok, but you have to help me give my bike a quick clean before I go…" He said, with an undertone of something that I couldn't quite point.

"Um, ok?" I asked.

"Good!" Jasper picked my up and threw me over his shoulder and walked outside with me.

"Jasper!" I shrieked at him, "Put me down this instant!" I said, I whacked my palm against the back of his head, but he still didn't put me down. "Now Jasper!" I shrieked again.

"As the lady wishes!" He exclaimed. He threw me down on the small patch of grass next to our garage. "Better?" He stood over me, with his arms folded across his chest and a smirk all over his gorgeous face.

"No! That is bloody well not better!" I yelled at him. I stood up and dusted myself off. Jasper just laughed at me. He wheeled his bike out of the garage as I filled up a bucket of water. Suddenly I had an idea. Jasper was hunting around in the garage for an old cloth, I stood outside the open door As Jasper walked out, I threw the contents of the bucket at him and I drenched him. Jasper bent down, and only one thought had time to run through my head as he aimed the hose at me: next time, make sure the hose isn't at his feet, and so available for him to get you with.

He turned it on before I could even think of running. He aimed the hose at me, he turned at on. A blast of water shot straight at me. It soaked my shirt and then my face and then my hair, he didn't turn it off until I was full drenched.

"You!" I yelled, I grabbed the hose off him and aimed it at him.

"Agh!" He yelled, "That's cold!"

"You think?" I said to him. Jasper ducked around me to try and get out of the water's way, but I turned around too. Too late, I realized what Jasper was really doing; he had turned the tap off at the wall. "Dam." I muttered. He pulled the pipe off the tap and started filling the bucket; it looked like our water fight was over. I plunked myself against the door, and watched Jasper going about cleaning his bike.

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**ok! so what did u think? good? bad? should be rewritten cuz its crap? tell me what u think plz? i loves hearing wat u think!! come on! reveiw for me!! it only takes... wat?... lik a second of ur time??? plz!!**

**Moony out.**


	39. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer: nope, im not the fantastic Mrs S. Meyer.. im just borrowing her characters for now... ill give them back only if they want to go... *~evil laugh~***

**ok, so i hope u like this chapter!! i need reveiws to continue... u would hate for me to just end it here wouldnt you... nah, i joke, im not that mean... but reveiw me aniways...? plz?**

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JPOV

"Agh! That's cold!" I yelled at Alice, she had just hit me with uncountable litres of freezing cold water! I ran around her, but she turned with me. I spotted the tap at the wall; I made a beeline for it and reached it just as Alice had realized what I was doing. I turned off the tap with a triumphant grin.

"Dam." I heard her mutter. She figured that our water fight was over, because she sat leaning on our door to watch me work. I grabbed the rags and set to work. After over a week of not being used, my bike was in need of a good scrub. So I started from the bottom up. I tried to keep my mind on the job, but it kept wandering back to Alice. When I was about half way through I looked up, expecting to see her still sitting against the door frame, but she was no where in sight so I got back to work. After a second I heard the front door open and close, but I ignored it. Then, I heard Alice clear her throat. I tuned around and my jaw nearly hit the floor.

Alice was standing on the porch in a small black bikini and shorts. My brain shut down. Alice just smiled at me.

"Uh… Alice? W-what bought this on?" I asked, not that I minded, but it was unusual.

"Well, if you don't like it…" She said, turning as if to go inside.

"No, no! I like it!" Like it? Hell, I loved it! I watched her as she moved over to me, she stopped right next to me and I had an idea, I reached down and scooped some bubbles of the sponge I was using, and put them on the tip of her nose. She giggled. She sounded like an angel. She reached down, I didn't take my eyes from hers, and then I felt very wet…

"Alice!" I yelled. She had thrown the entire bucket of soapy water over my head, drenching my shirt. Dam it! I had just dried off! "Alice! I just got dry!" I told her.

"Oops…" She smirked at me! Well, two could play at that game. I had found out that she had a peculiar weakness for my southern accent… it was my best weapon when dealing with Alice.

"Now now, that wasn't very nice… I said, I was laying it on a bit thick, but I could practically see her shaking.

"No fair Jasper…" She said. I laughed at her and lent forward to capture her warm lips in mine. Kissing Alice was the best thing ever. Sliced bread be dammed. I could feel all her love for me. Me! Jasper Whitlock! Weak, broken, sick, fucked up me. It was a wonder. Alice snaked her arms around my neck and got a firm hold on my hair. She tugged my head down to press her lips firmer against mine.

I moved one of my hands to cup her cheek, and she leaned into my touch. She detached herself from me to smirk up at me, "You know, Jasper…" She said. I had a feeling that I was in for some hard decision making, "Seeing as I'm only half dressed," She was proceeding more cautiously now, oh, please, don't let her be going there, I could never argue with Alice "you should really take that shirt off…" She went there. She knew that that was the one thing that I was not willing to do.

"Oh, never mind then Jasper," Thank god, "I'll just go get some jeans on…" What? No!

"Alice…" I pleaded, "You know I can't… my back… I just can't…" On one hand, I had my incredibly sexy girlfriend (and I still can't believe that she's my girlfriend!) in a bikini and the smallest shorts I had ever seen, and she was threatening to get changed unless I took my shirt off… simple huh? But on the other hand, said shirt covered my back. The scars that I have always been ashamed of. They mark me as weak. Therefore there really wasn't a choice in the matter.

"Please Jasper…?" No choice in the matter. I reminded myself. I reached down to the hemline of my shirt and pulled it over my head. I immediately had to fight the urge to put it back on, I felt very self-conscious. A car drove passed. People could be looking out of their windows. Every person that saw me was probably repulsed by it.

I felt small hands on my bare shoulders; Alice was looking up at me. "Chill, Jasper, no one is staring at you." She told me, "Just don't think about it and get back to cleaning your bike." She told me.

"Easy for you to say. You don't have this," I jerked my head backwards, "all over your back."

"You just have to forget about it, mind over matter." I snorted, I still felt very exposed. I didn't like it. Alice sighed. "Ok, lets go inside." I quickly wheeled my bike back into the garage and threw the cleaning stuff after it; I then shot inside the house, feeling paranoid.

"Are you ok Jasper? I'm sorry; I didn't realize you felt that insecure about it…" She said her eyes wide.

"I'm sorry Ali. I just… whenever… I just feel like everybody is watching me… I don't know how to explain it." I tried to explain. But I couldn't quite find the right words.

"I'm sorry Jasper, I just thought, that maybe if you could get over your paranoia, things would be easier for you. You know?" Oh. She was so sweet. She was trying to help me. Admittedly, not in the best way, but she was still trying, I reminded myself of my promise. I was going to try my damdest to be the right man for her. No excuses.

"Ali? Thanks for... um... trying, but uh… I don't think now's the best time… you know?" I said.

"Oh! Come here you big lump!" Alice catapulted herself at me, knocking the breath out of me. It was such an Alice thing to do. "You know I love you." She told me.

"Yes, yes I do. So there's really no need for you to get changed now, is there?" I asked. She looked so hot in that.

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**so??? u lik? u love? tell me!! reveiws are love, love makes me write faster, i write faster and u review me... see? it all starts with u reveiwing... i** **makes perfect sense!!**

**btw: im serious pplz... im not updating till i can get 150 reveiws... surely its not that hard? am i asking too much? i dont think so...i no u guys can do it cuz ur just awesome reviewers, atm i hav 149 so come on!!! is another chapter worth 1 minute of ur time??**

**Moony out.**


	40. the next chapter is finally up

**Disclaimer: nope, not mine, i dont own it.**

**in all fairness, i did warn you that i wouldnt be updating untill i got 150 reviews, so dnt tell me thats its been ages since i updated!! but i really do hope that this chapter was worth the wait!!**

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APOV

Ok. Not one of my brightest ideas. I had this idea that maybe if Jasper was too distracted by me, he wouldn't think so much about his insecurities. Needless to say my brilliant plan backfired. Oops.

But he was still a sweetie about it. Once he got inside.

"Yes, yes I do. So there's really no need for you to get changed now, is there?" He asked me. Hmm… so he liked me in this did he? I guess there was no reason to get changed then, and besides, I was way too lazy to be bothered going upstairs to get changed. I sat down on the couch and patted the spot beside me.

"Come sit Jazzy." I told him.

"Jazzy?" He leaned against the wall with one eyebrow raised. Hot…

"Yes, Jazzy. You call me Ali." He rolled his eyes at me.

"Fine, but not in public ok?" What? Was his nickname not manly enough for him?

"Bite me." I said, poking my tongue out at him. He smirked at me, and before I knew it I was pressed into the couch, Jasper on top of me.

"Now… what was it you were saying?" He asked, with a hint of a smile playing at the corner of his lips.

"Bite. Me." I told him, raising my hands to grip his upper arms. He moved his head down, at first I thought he was going to kiss me, but he kept going and began to nibble on my ear. Then he gave it a sharp bite, I squealed into his neck.

"Like that?" He asked. I laughed softly. Jasper's hand trailed down my side and began to trace patterns onto my bare stomach. I kissed Jasper's neck as his hands moved slowly lower. I removed my hands from Jasper's arms and began to run them over his chest. He was well built. When we were in high school he was a tall lanky freak, but now… wow. I stopped briefly to trace over the tattoo on his collarbone and then moved my hands down to run over his abs.

Jasper's hand reached the top of my shorts and moved straight to my knee, I groaned in frustration. He chuckled darkly. No fair. I moved my hands around to his back and traced the tips of my nails up his spine and then back down again. Jasper's head dropped into the crook of my neck and he let out a low moan. "God Alice…" He whispered into my ear. I moved to Jasper's chest again, and as I did, my hand brushed against the front of his jeans and he shuddered. "Alice…" He breathed out. His fingers resumed their teasing, going up and down my leg in a specific torture.

Jasper was drawing lazy circles on the underside of my knee when the doorbell rang.

"Don't you dare move." Jasper said, "Whoever it is will go away." I nodded and gasped as his hand finally moved higher. The person banged on the door, I put my hands on Jasper's shoulders to push him off me, "Don't. You. Dare. Move." He growled at me. I smiled at him and lay back down on the couch. My eyes fluttered closed.

"MARY ALICE BRANDON CULLEN!! ANSWER THIS DOOR NOW!!" My eyes flew open. It was Emmett, I traded looks with Jasper, and he rolled his eyes at me and sighed,

"Sorry Jasper…" I said. His shoulders slumped and he slowly crawled off me and pulled his semi-wet shirt on as Emmett yelled through the door again.

"Jasper! I don't care if you are about to fuck her senseless! I am her brother and I have privileges over you buddy!" My eyes nearly popped out of my head, I looked at Jasper in horror.

"Emmett!" I heard Rosalie hiss, and then I heard the sound of the back of her hand lightly hitting Emmett's thick head. Jasper raised his eyebrows as if to say: 'Hello? This is Emmett we're talking about.' I rolled my eyes at him as I unlocked the front door.

"What Emmett?" I asked in an aggravated tone.

"Little sis! I knew you were home! Check this out!" And he held this morning's newspaper out to me: 'Newton Jailed' the headline shouted at me.

"What's that Ali?" Jasper asked. He came up behind me and held me close to him, his arms around my waist, looking over my shoulder to see the newspaper. "Is this for real?" He asked Emmett when he saw it. Jasper was grinning ear to ear.

"Sure is Jasper, man! Don't read the article, it's boring as, but the gist of it is that Mike was picked up outside his house and then jailed for being a 'public nuisance'!" Emmett exclaimed happily.

"This doesn't make any sense Emmett? Why was he jailed?" I said.

"Who cares?!" Emmett exclaimed.

"The article doesn't say. It just says that he was picked up after being reported to have been screaming 'profanities' at passers-by." Rosalie told me.

"Ha-ha-ha! Stupid git finally got what was coming to him!" Jasper said.

"Right, well, we'll be off now," Rose said, "sorry about Emmett."

"No worries whatsoever!" Jasper said, Emmett held his fist out and Jasper bumped it with his own.

"Yeah man!" Emmett said, and then he caught me in one of his bone crushing hugs before walking out the door.

"Sorry… see you later." Rosalie said as she walked out after Emmett. The door shut behind her and I was left staring at Jasper.

"Well…?" I asked him.

"Let's go! Let's celebrate! I no I sound like a horrible person, but I really don't care! We're taking my bike, let's go!" He seemed so happy, so I quickly ran upstairs to get into some decent clothes and let him drag me out to his bike.

The bike was already sitting on the curb with Jasper astride it as a walked out. "Lock up then get you pretty arse over here!" He called to me. I did as he asked and he handed me the jacket and helmet and I jumped on behind him. My legs were going to hate me in the morning, but oh well. Jasper was worth it.

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**right, not including the epilouge, this is looking to be the second last chapter, unless I suddenly get a massive brainwave... *unlikely* my plot bunny is not being nice to me the moment. so, i really hope you liked this chaper. and please god, reveiw me, it took over a week just to get 5 measly reveiws, it only takes lik 2 seconds of your time guys!! thank you for listening.**

**Moony out.**


	41. the last chapter!

**disclaimer: nope, i dont own this, im just borrowing the characters for a while.**

**ok. so this is the last chapter. then the epilouge. im not very sure about this chapter or the epilouge, but i hope that u like both. **

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Do I regret agreeing to this? Yes.

Did Jasper keep to the speed limit? No.

Did he follow any kind of road rules? Again, no.

And Bella thought Edward was a reckless driver. I think I should get her on this bike with Jasper. She'd never complain about Edward again.

And why was I thinking about Edward and Bella at a time like this? No fucking idea.

Jasper sped along through the roads, dodging the heavy traffic and speeding around countless hairpin turns. But all the while I knew that he was doing it for the thrill of it, not because he was angry or upset. And that was the only thing that stopped me from demanding that he pull over and let me off. The _only_ thing.

We went around another turn and I held Jasper tighter. I felt like I was going to slip off. He laughed at me. "Just calm down Ali, and let yourself enjoy it!" Jasper called into the wind. I tried to follow his suggestion. I relaxed my body and tried not to grip him so hard, but then he would go around another turn and I'd have to start all over again. He had to stop at a traffic light, and Jasper swiveled around. He looked at me with wide eyes, "Having fun Ali?" I rolled my eyes at him, I knew he couldn't see me because of the helmet but he must have gotten the point because he laughed and sped off as soon as the light turned green.

"Alice?" He shouted as he drove, "Open those eyes, and look around you! See the sights! Everything's more beautiful when your whipping past it at high speed!" I slowly and cautiously opened my eyes. Everything was a blur around me, did Jasper have, I dunno, super eyes or something? Eyes that focused really quickly? Because I sure didn't! Then Jasper made a sharp turn at breakneck speed and I clenched my eyes shut and held him tighter.

After about what felt like the first few hours I started to try and relax again. Jasper felt my grip on him loosen somewhat, probably only by the smallest fraction, and chuckled. "Exactly! Relax!" He called.

Soon, we were speeding through what looked like no mans land. It wasn't exactly the middle of nowhere, but there were hardly any houses, and I could see no cars or any other vehicles in sight. Just as I thought Jazzy was going to drive us into the next state, he turned around. We headed back towards Forks, at twice the legal speed limit. As we neared the town, he make a sharp turn that made me press me eyes shut and pull my arms around him tighter than ever. By then time I dared to open my eyes again, Jasper has screeched to a halt in the middle of the road.

"What was that all about?" I asked him.

"No idea." He shrugged. Ok then. The psycho takes me into the middle of no where and says he did it for no particular reason? Jasper is crazy. But I love him.

With another screeching of his tires, Jasper took off again, this time, he actually did head back to Forks.

We pulled into the driveway and Jasper lifted me off the bike. "Can you walk?" He asked me. I nodded and rolled my eyes at him. I stood on the curb. Jasper wheeled his bike into the garage alongside my Porsche. I tried to take a step and my leg wobbled. I sighed.

"Um… Jazzy?" I called out.

"Uh huh?" He answered from inside the garage.

"I can't walk…" I admitted to him.

He poked his head out of the garage. "I didn't think so." He said. He came over to me, and instead of helping me into the house (apparently, that isn't as much fun) he scooped me up into his strong arms and carried me inside… dumping me on the kitchen bench.

"Ok… water…" He mumbled to himself. He knew me well.

"Water comes out of the tap Jazzy…" I reminded him, "and the glasses are in that cabinet." I pointed for him. He rolled his eyes at me before getting me my water. I skulled it down and watched him get one for himself.

"So…" I said. I watched his throat move as he drank the water. "Was that our celebration, or was that just you wanting to torture me?"

"Neither, that was me finally being allowed on my bike, and it was you coming along for the ride because you love me." He said. I laughed.

"Well you got one thing right: I do love you." I told him, he never tired of hearing it and I would never tire of telling him.

"Oh good… because now it's time for the celebration…" And he swept me up in his arms and ran upstairs.

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**not too shabby, i hope? well, no matter wat u thought of it, plz! reveiw me!! thank u guys heaps for sticking with this story, ill hav a big, gushing, 'i love u guys' AN for you after the epilouge, ok? ok. REVIEW ME!!!!**

**Moony out.**


	42. Epilouge

**Disclaimer: well, for the last time this story: this is not mine, the wonderful and tlented Mrs S. Meyer owns it all...**

**ok. wow. the last chapter of this story. i hav been writting this story since well before i got an account on here, so its a bit weird to see it ending. but i cant really write a decent AN without giving the end away. so, enjoy it!**

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APOV

I was in the shower. The hot water running down my body and relaxing me. It had been one year since Jasper had stopped cutting himself. Since then we had been a happy couple. Admittedly, he had a bad habit of punching walls when he was frustrated, but I'd take that over hacking at his own arm with a knife any day.

Suddenly the door opened and Jasper came in. My eyes went wide.

"What the _hell_ are you doing!?"

He started mumbling something, I think he was talking to me, but I was more concerned with the fact that I was in the shower and he was in the room, and it's a good thing the glass was seriously fogged up.

"…so I was wondering…if…you'd marry me...?"

I can't believe this is happening! I'm in the shower for goodness sake! What does he think he is doing?!

"What?" I mouthed.

"I said I want you to marry me…" he half whispered.

"I'm in the shower! Get out!" I screeched.

"Oh my god, Ali, I - "

"Get Out!" I screeched again.

I think I may have really hurt is feelings, but, come on; I was in the shower for heavens sake! I couldn't believe it; the stupid guy had decided that while I was in the shower was a good time to propose to me! What was wrong with him? What happened to the old fashioned proposal where _both_ people were dressed!

He shuffled out of the bathroom. Oh my god. He just asked me to marry him.

He is my boyfriend. I guess I do want this… sort of… Jasper had had a lot of problems in the past year. With his adoptive family, and some other… insecurities I guess you could say.

I shoved my pajama's on and went to find him, it wasn't that hard. There was soft music coming from his room. As I started walking towards the door the music stopped and there was a noise like a plug had just been wrenched free of the wall with unnecessary force and then one of his most choice swear words as he fell over something.. Another few steps and I could hear him cursing under his breath, I caught every second word or so "… so stupid… course…doesn't love me that much… stuffed up… HOLY SHIT!" At those last words he'd noticed I was leaning on his door frame. He was alive, I surveyed his arms, no new cuts, no blood everywhere. He was ok. But his room wasn't, it was in shambles, a half packed suitcase on the bed. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"I'm sorry, really sorry; I didn't think,' the words just kept tumbling out of his mouth, as if he couldn't get them out fast enough. I shook my head. 'I'm really sorry, I'll go, I'm sure there'll be a motel with a free room somewhere close," he just wouldn't shut up. Originally I had planned to let him go on for a while, but he had suffered enough. I walked up to him and covered his lips with mine, as intended he shut up right away. I pulled away, though, before he could react. I put my lips to his ear and whispered that one little word,

"Yes."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and gave me a huge bear hug before kissing me full on the lips. He picked me up and swung me around in a circle, had he always been so strong? When my feet were once again firmly planted on the ground he brushed my hair away from my ear and said, predictably, "I love you." I knew I was doing the right thing by me. I loved him, and I had always known that.

He picked me up again and sat me down on the bed, "Stay right there," he said. He opened the suitcase he had thrown on the floor to make room for me and after a few seconds of digging he located a little black box.

"Oh no," I said quietly "there was no need for that."

"I had to; I wanted to get it. Mary Alice Brandon Cullen, would you do me the greatest honor of being my wife? I promise not to be an idiot, to fix those holes in the walls, and to love you forever." How could I say no?

He sat down next to me on the bed and opened the small box, sparkling against the black velvet was a ring. Two small diamonds on either side of a slightly larger one, on a shiny silver band, it was beautiful, and I told him so. He took my left hand and slid it onto my fourth finger.

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him with all the strength I had, and we fell backwards onto the bed. Jasper started to run his hands up and down my sides. I laughed against his mouth. "Jazzy, come on, get off me." I heard him groan, but he pushed himself off of me and rolled over, I went to get up but he grabbed my waist "Jazzy!" I squealed.

"What?" He asked, innocently, "I'm allowed to hold my fiancé."

He pulled me against his chest and I pulled his right arm out to look at it. I traced the lines across his wrist. I moved higher, up his forarm. "A…"

"Is for an amazing person." He said.

"L…" I said, tracing the letter cut into his skin.

"Is for loving me when no one else did."

"I…"

"Is for completely individual."

"C…"

"Is for caring for me when I need it."

"E…"

"Is for freakishly enthusiastic." He laughed at me.

"It's corny, but oh well." I said to him.

"Yep, and there's nothing like having your fiancée's name carved into your arm." He used the tip of his fingers to trace the outline of my face, my eyes, my nose, my lips. Eventually I fell asleep, listening to his heart, as I always did.

I awoke, dazed and disorientated, but comfortable against Jaspers side. I rolled over to see him starting at me with his big blue eyes.

"I'm sorry if I woke you." He whispered in my ear.

"Go back to sleep." I told him. He obliged and closed his eyes. After a few minutes his breathing slowed and his grip on my waist slackened. I rolled out, or off of, the bed and looked at him, his blond hair was messy, and he was spread out on the bed, the only part of the bed not taken up by him was a small space where I had been lying only seconds before. I smiled down at him, he was adorable.

I went into the bathroom and got into the shower. I stayed there for longer than I should, relishing in the feeling of the soothing hot water. Eventually I got out and threw on some old clothes and went back into Jaspers bedroom.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to me. I watched the muscles in his arms flex as he stretched. He wasn't really too self conscious about the scars on his back anymore, so he was ok to go without a shirt for a while, all the more fun for me.

I climbed onto the bed and crawled across to him, where I sat up on my knees next to him. He pretended not to notice me for a minute before pulling me into his lap and snaking his arms around my waist.

"You're so tiny!" He chuckled.

"Huh." I pushed my lower lip out into a pout. He laughed, and leaned down and buried his face in the crook of my neck.

Suddenly he wrapped his arms tighter around my waist and fell backwards onto the bed pulling me with him. I lay sprawled on top of him as his hands crept under my shirt and began to draw patterns on my bare skin. I giggled, and he remembered that I was ticklish. He flipped us over and continued to tickle me with one hand while successfully keeping me pinned between him and the bed with the other.

"Please… stop! Please… Jasper… stop!" I gasped out between peals of laughter.

He let out a short, low laugh, "Nah, I like hearing you beg…" He said with a smirk.

"Please… Jasper!" I gasped.

"Ok, ok. Get up, my little pixie." He rolled off me and lay on his back beside me; I poked my tongue out at him before jumping up and leaving him there.

"Oi! Just where do you think your going!?"

I just raised an eyebrow at him and walked out, swaying my hips for effect. I heard the bed springs creak as he followed me into the kitchen.

I began to make breakfast, and he followed me around the kitchen too, watching everything I did with his keen eyes. It was as if he found my making breakfast fascinating.

"Stop following me around and get your own breakfast!" I rapped him on the back of the head with the bag of bread I was holding.

"Why are we in such a hurry?" He asked. I decided not to answer him; it would make him move faster. So I grabbed my toast and the phone and skipped into my room and locked the door, hopefully that would keep him out. Of course he would be able to pick the lock, but still.

I found my phone and called home. Esme was going to be ecstatic.

"Cullen's." Carlisle answered.

"Carlisle, its Alice, get Esme on the other line, I need to tell you both something!" I said.

"Hey sweetie." Esme said.

"Guess what! Jasper asked me to marry him!" I heard Esme screech on the line.

"Sweetie! That's fantastic! You and Jasper must come over for lunch! I can't wait to see you! My little girl all grown up! Call your brother's and Bella too and tell them our place for lunch to celebrate!" Esme stopped to draw breath, and Carlisle started.

"Alice, that wonderful. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you both. And I can't wait to see the both of you this afternoon, about one o'clock?" He said.

"Ok, see you both real soon." I said.

"Talk very soon baby." Esme said, and I hung up. Now to call Bella.

I hung up then dialed Bella's number and waited for her to pick up the phone. She picked it up on the fourth ring.

"Hello?" Now that wasn't the voice I had been expecting.

"Edward, get me Bella on the phone now!" I demanded.

"Oh.. erm… Hello Alice… I'll get her." "Bella!" I heard him call, "it's Alice and she's demanding to speak to you." I heard Bella groan.

"Tell Alice I'm not here, I'm in the shower… or something!"

"Isabella Marie Swan I hear your voice and you will get on this phone now or I will take you on an extended shopping trip on your _birthday_!" I screeched into the receiver. For whatever reason Bella's unusual dislike of shopping got her on the phone in under two seconds flat.

"Ok, ok, I'm here now, what is it you wanted to say?" I could almost see her sitting on the stool by her phone with her fingers crossed praying that I wasn't about to make her come shopping.

"Bella, you can uncross those fingers. I have something more important to tell you than when our next shopping trip is!"

"Wow, if it's more important than shopping then I'd better listen!" She giggled.

"Jasper asked me to marry him!" I squealed.

Bella squealed into the phone. "Oh My God! That's fan-tas-tic! We have to go out to celebrate! You need to call Rose and Emmett; they will want to come too."

"Perfect Bella, I'll meet you at the Carlisle and Esme's at lunchtime ok? You and Edward. _Now before I forget, why did my brother answer your phone_?!?!"

"Oh."

"Tell me…"

"Ok, ok! Um… well, we've kind of started dating properly… um… yeah…"

"Really sounds like your doing more than just going out for coffee… I'll let Emmett tease you about that..." I heard her gasp of horror, "Would you be so kind as to put my big brother on the phone for me." It wasn't a question.

"Ok, umm… congratulations about Jasper again…" "Edward! Alice wants to talk to you!"

"Hey Alice, what's up?"

"Oh My God! You and Bella! My big brother and my best friend! This is great I knew that you two would end up together! This is so cute!"

"Umm… ok Ali."

"Anyways, I'll see you at the Carlisle and Esme's for lunch ok?"

I hung up, not giving him a chance to object. I then dialed Rose's number; she and Emmett were due to get married in just under three months time. Ironically, both Emmett and Rose picked up the separate phones and said hello at the same time.

"Ok, both of you stay on the line; I have something to tell you two!"

"Watch out! The little pixie has finally lost it!"

"Shut up Emmett" Rose chided, I heard the sound of Rose's palm hitting the back of Emmett's head.

"Ow! Rosie!"

"ANYWAY! Guess what?"

"Victoria's Secret is having a sale! Ok! Ok! I'm sorry Rosie! I'll behave!" Typical Emmett.

"Jasper asked me to marry him!" I squealed out.

Both Rose and Emmett started saying who happy they were for me, and after talking for a while I told them where to meet for lunch and hung up.

I threw the phone down on the bed and waltzed over to my extensive closet to find the perfect thing to wear. Jasper banged on the door.

"Go away sweetie, Alice is getting dressed."

"All the more reason to come in…" Jasper groaned.

"Shoo! Off you go! I'll come pick out your clothes in a tick!" I changed into a black bikini and slipped a dress over the top. I opened my door to see Jasper leaning on the wall beside it.

"Now." I told him, "We are going to a barbeque with my parents and siblings and Bella and you are coming and you will swim and you will have fun. Got me?" He picked me up and I giggled.

"Yeah, I got you. I got you forever."

* * *

**i promise that i do know that this ending was similar to that of Jasper's in Trouble. but after a dicsussion with Padfoot, i was forced to use this as the epilouge. yes, forced. so, i hope that you are not too upset with the way i ended it. if you are, tough cookies, take it up with Padfoot. **

**id just love to say much love and cookies to Padfoot, who beta'd about half of this story. GO PADFOOT!! Also to Prongs, who is awesome, and who also proof read a few of my earlier drafts.**

**thx heaps especially to Emmy 1512 who reveiwed every chapter, no matter how short, u are awesome. also to every other person who reveiwed. you are the best, and u shall all recieve... much gratitude!! **

**also: i will probably be doing some editing work on the earlier chapter, but nothing drastic. **

**so, for the last time in this story, please let me know if you like it by reveiwing. **

**Moony out.**


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